Gone? Never?

I don't think I have CRPS...at least I hope I don't, but my pain never really seems to go away. I had one month of relief the first month after the surgery...but while my nerve pain is less (but slowly creeping back) it has been replaced by this deep awful throbbing pain.

Does pain for people like us really ever go away, or is it just something that is going to be a part of my life until I die? I know nobody can answer this question, but I wish they could. I really wish they could.

On a happy note, this is my first post from my new Dell XPS 14! Yeah, I know what you are thinking...why didn't I  buy a Mac? Well, you see consumers of the world, Apple has one of the worst CSR policies on earth. Not too long ago there was a fire at one of their factories in China and people literally burned to death because there were bars on the windows and they couldn't get out. My concious won't let me buy an Apple product...they may be cool, but so is my new Dell...which also happen to come in enviro-friendly bamboo packaging. Way to go Dell!!

Peace like a river.

MCAT Prep + Racing

I raced 2/3 stages of the Rundle Mountain Stage Race this past weekend in Canmore, Alberta. We started off the morning at with a time trial at the Nordic Centre. The race was on their roller ski paths which was amazing because you didn't have to worry about traffic or anything. Unforunately, on Friday I took my bike into get my gears tuned up a bit as they were shifting a bit un-smoothly, put it in the car and didn't ride until Saturday morning before the TT. I don't know what they did to it, but I only had a choice of 3 cogs, middle, top and bottom. Safe to say my TT didn't go well, but when I was able to max out my gearing and put the hammer down, my legs felt strong. It was nice to feel strong again and feel like the power I put into my legs actually gets to the pedals.

In the afternoon was the Crit downtown. It poured for the women's race. I got dropped about half way through, but stuck it out in the pouring rain. There were a lot of crashes, both in my race and all of the other categories. At least 2 bad crashes per race, some had more than 5 guys crashing out. Even though I didn't place very well, my body still felt pretty good and I felt pretty strong. A lot of people after the race told me I was amazing because I pretty much rode half the race by myself in the pouring rain, and I didn't just ride, I rode hard.

Sunday night I went to the Mother Mother concert at the Coca-cola stage at the Calgary Stampede (100 years!) with a friend from high school. It was one crazy mosh pit...and if you know Mother Mother, you know that they are considered an 'alternative band' not a screamo mosh pit crowd surfing kind of band. Anyway, bye the time the concert was over, at least 3 people fell on my from above, I was covered in mud (it poured and the standing area is/was grass) and I had to throw out my shoes. It was fun, but also very, very painful. I can't count the times somebody stepped on my foot wearing cowboy boots, those things should be band from mosh pit like situations...

MCAT? What MCAT? Oh, right, the one I should be studying for instead of doing all of the above activities (including writing this blog). I am so screwed... starting to feel sick to my stomach about it actually.

The Swell

I haven't posted in a while because I have been super busy with that thing called work and that other thing called the MCAT, neither of which I fully enjoy. I have been spending a fair amount of time on my bike and the weather is beginning to look a bit more like summer...which is nice because I had clean my bike 4 times a week there for a while.

I bet you are wondering about my good ol' leg eh? Well, truth be told, so I am and so are my doctors. My whole leg below the knee is swollen and spongy like (yuck) with some nice vascular changes (aka my veins are popping out) and a heck of a lot of pain. Now, I know what you are thinking...I should probably stop riding my bike right? Wrong. Cycling doesn't make the pain any worse or any better, but it keeps the muscle spasms in check and keeps me from going insane, so really I don't see any good reason to stop riding.

I have another appointment with my family doc this week...I have pretty much seen him or his locum every week for the past month. There is something not right about what is going on, after the neuroma resection 2 years ago (almost exactly) I knew something wasn't right and everybody just kept telling me it was fine. Then I almost had a below the knee amputation...I don't want to repeat that, this time I am not settling for "don't worry."

On a completely different note, I almost had a heart attack today (not really, but my heart rate went to about 205). I was out for a ride on my usual 65km route, I was just starting up a bit of a hill when all of a sudden this giant thing ran out of the forest 20 feet in front of me, across the road and into the forest on the other side. That is the first time in a while that I have seen a bear whilst out on my bike. It scared me a lot because it wasn't very big, meaning that mama bear might be around waiting to pounce and I was going up hill with a head wind having only spandex for protection. I live in a rural area (obviously) and bears aren't exactly a new phenomena (I'm really not afraid of them) but today seeing that bear with nobody but lil' me around made me realize how vulnerable I really am on my bike.

Pro tip of the day: Bring bear spray when riding in the BC Rockies.