To know one life has breathed easier because you have lived. That is to have succeeded. - RW Emerson

Monday, January 20, 2014

The Floor

Today I spent a long time on the floor of an emergency room. You know those pictures you see of sub-par Canadian hospitals in American media propaganda about how bad universal healthcare is? Well, today I flat out was lying on the floor of the emergency room, creating one of those pictures

I have a spinal headache from the procedure that I talked about here. If you have ever had a spinal headache, you will know it to be one of the worst headaches of your life, when you are sitting or standing up that is. When you lie down though, it is gone completely - hence the floor.

You know what? I actually don't even mind that I had to lie on the floor. There was a chair I could have sat on, but it wasn't quite as horizontal as the floor. I am not unhappy with the care I received. I ended up being seen by my own doctor (a specialist) to set up a follow up appointment for Thursday and a team of anesthetists who offered me the choice of doing a blood patch today, or later in the week if my headaches cannot be managed with the pain meds they gave me. I am happy with that. They gave me choices. I chose the conservative route of trying pain medication and then going back directly to anesthesia for a blood patch (skipping the emerg line up) if I feel like I can't take the headache anymore. I think that is awesome. I am not above lying on the floor. I don't have a life threatening emergency, just a painful complication, other patients who are sicker need the bed more than I do.

Even though I am Canadian, and I believe I have the right to healthcare, I also believe in equitable healthcare. I think, despite the lying on the floor thing, that I received equitable and quality care today. I have the right to healthcare, but not the right to take it away from others.

Is this just the inbred Canadian niceness coming through, or do I have point here? I am willing to sacrifice my own comfort and not complain about it because I know that resources are being used to help the people who need it most.


Being in a hallway doesn't mean they aren't receiving the best care possible.

Friday, January 10, 2014

The Worst Day

I had a really awful day yesterday. Let me outline for you in a time line

7:15 am: Missed the bus
7:50 am: swimming behind a rather slowish person, the make a weird dead stop at the bulkhead, I try to avoid them and smash my ankle on the bulkhead. Ankle bleeds and I have severe nerve pain
9:10 am: I stop to check where my 9:30 class is as I stand in line to buy milk for the cereal that I packed to eat after swimming. My student centre reads "No Enrolments." I had been un-enrolled from all of my classes.
9:15-9:45 am: I wait in line at enrolment services
9:45-10:10 am: Person at the registrar tells me all of the classes I was enrolled in are full and she can't enrol me in any of them. I argue that there has to be because was registered in all of them the night before. She makes phone calls, senior official comes, sees my desperations and restores my enrolments.
10:20 am: I arrive at my 9:30 class almost an hour late, and I am not even sure if it is the right class. It was supposed to me neuromuscular physiology, but all the prof was talking about was learning and memory.
10:20-10:45 am: I sit in said class wondering if I am at all in the right place and hoping that I am not, because the class had nothing to do with neuromuscular physiology.
10:45 am: I apologize to prof for being late, and ask if I am in the right class. Sadly, he told me it was neuromuscular physiology.
11:10 am: I arrive back on the campus where my lab is and I go to the cafe to buy milk
11:20 am: I get back to the lab, exhausted, hungry and excited to eat my cereal that I was supposed to eat after the pool. I pour the milk onto my cereal and it comes out in globs.
11:21 am: I dump my cereal in the garbage
11:26 am: I return the spoiled milk to the cafe and get a new one
11:30 am: I get back to the lab, open the milk take a tiny sip and realize it is also bad.
11:32 am: I feel like crying
11:38 am: I return the second expired 2% milk for chocolate milk and have to explain my self to two friends and the cashier again.
11: 45 am: I give up on trying to do anything for the day and I just sit there drinking my not expired milk


The thing that really gets me about yesterday is how disappointed I was with Zool 595- Comparative Neuromuscular Physiology having essentially nothing to do with neuromuscular physiology, but more about how squids can learn by watching their fellow squids. I was so excited about this course because neuromuscular neurology is something I am passionate about (you know, cuz I get to live with the ramifications of what happens when it goes wrong everyday) and the course let me down.


Today went somewhat better. I did get a bislster though (which are the worst) but that bislster earned me one of the last flu vaccines in the province. 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The first week of the end of my degree

I think title says it all, but this is the first week of classes of the last semester of my undergrad degree. Come June I will be happily not walking across the stage to receive my degree in Health Sciences because I will likely still be in Tanzania. (Who would want to sit in stuffy gymnasium for three hours when they could be deep in the Maasai region of Tanzania at a field camp with giraffes walking around?) Needless to say, I am pretty excited that this is the end of my first degree and that I get to finish off with a pretty awesome global health research studentship to Tanzania.

The unfortunate part is that I will be starting yet another semester with post-concussion syndrome. You may remember this post from October, well the saga continues. I still have daily headaches, yet they are mainly orthostatic (I get them when I sit up or stand up, but if I lie down they go away). This has led the concussion specialist physiatrist that I am seeing to suspect I may have a CSF leak (which is what I asked about a week after my concussion when I threw up every time I stood up and the ER doc told me it was impossible to occur unless there was a skull fracture). Soo... I have to do a radionucleotide cisternogram (say that thee times fast) in two weeks, which essentially involves a lumbar puncture, an injection of some radioactive nucleotides and me lying on a table in the angiogram suit for 6 hours. I'm not excited...and I think that if it shows I don't have a CSF leak, I likely will have one after this procedure (every time a needle goes into my epidural space I end up with a CSF leak that doesn't resolve its own). From what I am told, this the best test to check for a CSF leak, and apparently they can't do a blood patch (the procedure done to stop CSF leaks) unless there is indication of leak, which there will be no matter what after this procedure because I am 100% certain (based on past experience) that I will end up with one. Some rules and systems don't make any sense and in this case will likely cause unnecessary patient suffering. This procedure seems pointlessly expensive (to taxpayers of course, GO CANADA) and I am fairly certain I will end up needing a blood patch in the end regardless of the test outcome.

And for further updates, I got wait-listed at Wayne State SOM (which was better than I though based on the strangeness of my interview) and rejected pre-interview by UBC by 0.5 (they give you your application score and the cutoff score for interviews). The UBC thing really upset me because BC has a huge shortage of doctors in rural areas, yet they reject rural applicants at higher rates than those from urban areas (they publish these stats). It has to be recognized that opportunities to build up extracurricular activities in a small town are limited (like there are none), I made some of my own, but even that was a struggle. Anyway, if i don't get in anywhere this year, I know my GPA will be high enough to put me above the interview cutoff for next year for UBC.

On another note I spontaneously decided to apply for graduate school in Gottingen, Germany. But sadly if they like me I essentially have to repeat the a German version of the MCAT (in English thankfully) so now I have go back to studying plant ecology, physics and chemistry.

Who wouldn't want to get a MSc or PhD from here? 
Despite all of these emotional up and downs, and headaches caused by the physical ups and downs, I'm excited for what 2014 has in store. This year represents a void of the unknown and not knowing what is going to happen is always exciting. It also represents long hours in the lab trying to finish my honours thesis on time (so I can actually graduate) and the challenge of fulfilling these 10 goals. 

I hope your 2014 is filled with moments of joy but also full challenges that help you realize its okay to not be in control, and of course, many Medical Mondays (12 to be exact).

Thanks for stopping by!!

(I should also share that I get to snag link up spot 1 because I am in a different time zone,  so technically it is still Sunday here. There are some perks of living in mountain time, in addition to the mountains and -20°C weather.)