tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57682450467149249962024-03-24T23:09:44.489-07:00Give it 110%The adventures of a medical student with chronic neuropathic pain in the Canadian North.Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.comBlogger191125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-6131147376776741992015-07-06T10:25:00.004-07:002015-07-06T10:27:41.034-07:00Losing A member of Your "Family"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yesterday something was taken from me. Something that has recently brought a lot of joy into my everyday life, and a smile when ever I am with it. But now it is gone.<br />
<br />
Yesterday my vintage single speed coaster brake cruiser was stolen from me. It was almost in mint condition, it was super fun to ride, and it made me love cycling again. It was so much fun that I made me want to get back on my road bike and it made me want to explore the cross country trails near by on my cyclocross bike. It made me love seeing the world from a bike again, something I haven't felt in two years.<br />
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That bike gave me a sense of freedom from the pain, from what happened in the past, and from the heartbreak of learning I can never race a bike again.<br />
<br />
But now it is gone. They cut a cable lock. Then the cut a u-lock. Then they took away a part of my family.<br />
<br />
RIP<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuir6od21C2_ts3laaoIyJSgMz_CP0jd4ib4QJygRECqfeXUAgkXWLTnKEEI_8haMQE6Aliap5DyfhorbdHZ89y6GDrH8SOz0DAHdryoMKTfJ_iOBx8LteCCTiG0HdJOYDYTmwf1fJZ2_T/s1600/IMG_0409.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuir6od21C2_ts3laaoIyJSgMz_CP0jd4ib4QJygRECqfeXUAgkXWLTnKEEI_8haMQE6Aliap5DyfhorbdHZ89y6GDrH8SOz0DAHdryoMKTfJ_iOBx8LteCCTiG0HdJOYDYTmwf1fJZ2_T/s320/IMG_0409.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only photo I have to remember her by.</td></tr>
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-19931233865289198492015-06-10T09:36:00.003-07:002015-06-10T09:39:55.790-07:00Honouring My Ancestors<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The cool thing about learning medicine as that it isn't just about diseases, physical exams, histories, tests and prescriptions. It is about people. Its about learning about people, what makes them tick and what makes them sick. But I feel like at most schools, all you learn about is what makes them sick. So I guess that makes me pretty lucky because I also get to learn about what makes people tick.<br />
<br />
I got to spend 4 weeks for my last module of first year living on an urban reserve in North Western Ontario. It was amazing, eye opening, educational and challenging all at the same time, which is what I was expecting. But what I wasn't expecting was to learn a lot about myself, who I am and who I want to be.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnL1c0wVkjyRBkO5u6TIQDUJ0DgvaNepJdnLanPO8OzCQGMhHcPfQx_ZhqgkbqGJVJAm92Tmw1p4ZqPRUbmoXcg77VjfJP94SjZjn7SgO6Zc4TyKp5GieO9m-BreksaliXVlL3AEGaBENR/s1600/IMG_0369+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnL1c0wVkjyRBkO5u6TIQDUJ0DgvaNepJdnLanPO8OzCQGMhHcPfQx_ZhqgkbqGJVJAm92Tmw1p4ZqPRUbmoXcg77VjfJP94SjZjn7SgO6Zc4TyKp5GieO9m-BreksaliXVlL3AEGaBENR/s320/IMG_0369+2.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I actually made these, even the bead work!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I got to spend one month living with the most amazing Anishinaabe women. She taught me a lot about traditional medicines, traditional way of life, the struggles and hardships that she and her people have been through, and what it means to be a strong women. And during this period of learning I came to understand a lot about myself, and the kind of doctor that I want to be.<br />
<br />
I don't know a lot about my ancestry, and a large part of Anishinaabe and other aboriginal culture is about thanking and giving offerings to your ancestors and honouring them and asking for their help. And by honouring your ancestors you also honour the Creator. For me this is a struggle because I don't know who my ancestors are on one side of my family, so I always felt very fake and ingenuine when participating in ceremonies.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFx-cvvmTwYrThQ_fk5ED2w8PkBWMwkYEf81CR5Bd3DQHcu8J5GKLtGSsNPlKbdGH5FKNU8wsW_XEn0OXrL1RPdxnfy7q7SrtsA6KQCfGRm4wisQi020Or1rxpZW4Tjg5bux0eo7aZZsII/s1600/medicine-wheel.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFx-cvvmTwYrThQ_fk5ED2w8PkBWMwkYEf81CR5Bd3DQHcu8J5GKLtGSsNPlKbdGH5FKNU8wsW_XEn0OXrL1RPdxnfy7q7SrtsA6KQCfGRm4wisQi020Or1rxpZW4Tjg5bux0eo7aZZsII/s320/medicine-wheel.png" width="222" /></a>But I came to learn during my 4 weeks that the part of me that has always a question mark does not have to be, and that I can take my own journey of discovery to find the part of me that is missing and make it whole again. Instead of merely learning tradition teachings, I thought deeply about them and about my own life and past, and slowly I felt like I had permission to ask my ancestors for help. I wanted for the first time to really be a part of aboriginal culture, which is a part of me that I never took ownership of.<br />
<br />
I have carried on some of the traditional practices that I got to participate in such as smudging when I am having a particularly rough time with pain, or just having a tough day. Placing cedar in my shoes to help keep me safe in my journey through medicine and my walk through life. And honouring the ground with saama when I take something from it.<br />
<br />
All the teachings that I have learned have given me a deep sense of pride in who I am, and who some of my ancestors are. And while it was merely 4 weeks of learning and living in a new place, I want to try and continue my journey of discovery and exploring my traditions.<br />
<br />
After leaving the sweat lodge on my last night, I felt literally like a new person, that a piece of me had been given back and I finally found what my soul was searching for.<br />
<br />
I hope that this experience will help me become a compassionate, thoughtful, and knowledgable healer in the future, even if I am becoming a healer in the modern, not traditional sense.<br />
<br />
If I wasn't at the school I am at, I would not have had the opportunity to find myself. So Chi Miigwetch to the No Ordinary School of Medicine.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRlrX1PrE43oyduuMz8UNKDFnEpJLxno4dGl3mJVJOiqdfuzEidfpegkHLf-tjmsa4qNU94d-sVmqM3uApSbmWxsizELsOL8aPhdy02R9FVWCe9CHa4qsFUcOo8SSJ6pZ0lGQmuXl4e8JW/s1600/IMG_0310.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRlrX1PrE43oyduuMz8UNKDFnEpJLxno4dGl3mJVJOiqdfuzEidfpegkHLf-tjmsa4qNU94d-sVmqM3uApSbmWxsizELsOL8aPhdy02R9FVWCe9CHa4qsFUcOo8SSJ6pZ0lGQmuXl4e8JW/s400/IMG_0310.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OMC! (Oh My Creator)<br />
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-62369754659384624662015-03-05T19:53:00.002-08:002015-03-05T20:01:46.352-08:00Anatomy Woes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I really like anatomy. But I real don't like having to teach it to myself. I know I can already out perform a lot of M1 students from different schools in clinical skills and clinical judgement, but if a surgeon in the OR started throwing questions at me I would be a blank slate.<br />
<br />
I just ordered Netter's flash cards off of Amazon and a Netter's colouring book...I need all the help I can get. Also, if anybody knows how to slow time down so that I have enough time to learn anatomy plus everything else that I need to know, that would be much appreciated. (Time turners anyone?)<br />
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-30586353913734241572014-12-02T18:37:00.000-08:002014-12-02T18:39:17.141-08:00A Longing for Home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The first time I packed up my life and drove away from my home was at the age of 14, the first year I went off to boarding school. I remember that day clearly in my mind, looking back at my family's home out of the back window of my parents car, my bike seat blocking the view of the tree in the front yard. I was so incredibly excited at that moment to be starting a new life, one that would hopefully help me find my path in life and get me where I needed to be. I can say truthfully that it did, and that I wouldn't be sitting here surrounded by medical text books and frantically scribbled notes about the heart. I don't know where I would be.<br />
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The three years I spent at boarding school were incredible, and I look back with almost all fond memories. But I can't say there weren't days that I didn't miss home, my family, my town or the mountains. There were plenty of those days, but as each month, term and year rolled on, I had less and less days of longing for home. I started to feel like my school was my home, and that my friends and teachers were my family. <br />
<br />
I also recall that during my first year of University there were intense days of longing to go home, mostly during the first semester of school when I was fighting to save my leg from amputation. Over the last two years of my undergrad, I could have gone home every weekend, but in total over two years I spent 4 weeks at home. I chose not to, I loved where I was living, what I was doing and my friends. I had no reason to go home really.<br />
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But since starting medical school, I don't think I have ever had so many days where from the core of my being I just want to go home. Sometimes I miss home, my family and the mountains so much that it almost hurts. Maybe it is because I have been sick since returning from Tanzania that I want to go home so badly. Maybe it is because I don't see myself sticking around this city after I graduate. I don't know what it is, all I know, is that I want to go home.<br />
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18 days and one exam to go. </div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-67414527018841854292014-11-05T17:49:00.002-08:002014-11-05T17:49:48.001-08:00No Power to Change<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We have community placements in our first and second year for 3 hours every week. As a first year, I essentially know nothing at all. I might know a bit more than some of my classmates because my background/bad luck with my body experiences, but over all, I don't know anything. The lack of knowledge and experience makes me feel completely powerless to say anything about things that bother me.<br />
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For example, I was observing in a specialized clinic that deals with very specific issues, and a patient asked if the doctor would be able to prescribe her an inhaler for her bronchitis, even though it was well outside the scope of the clinic. It wasn't however outside the scope of a very experienced family doctor. I saw the look on the patients face of frustration, anger, neglect and disappointment when the doc said that she couldn't and walked out of the room. I don't know if the doc saw it, but it felt like I was being punched in the gut to see her face and then to walk away like it wasn't a big deal.<br />
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Obviously, on the level of medical neglect, not being prescribed an inhaler for a non-emergent situation is not a big deal. Possibly the doc didn't feel comfortable prescribing an inhaler given she didn't know the patient's medical background. I don't think the doc should have given the patient the inhaler given the scope of the practice, but I do think she should have addressed it in a better way. Ask why the patient wanted one, explain in a less abrupt way why it couldn't be prescribed, and at least acknowledge that the patient was suffering. I don't think I will ever forget the look on the patient's face and in her eyes, you could tell she was upset, and wanted to say something, but didn't know how. I felt the same.<br />
<br />
Maybe this experience resonated with me more because the very same day, just hours before I was observing at the clinic, the same thing happened to me. I had an appointment with my family doc to talk about a chronic GI issue that I have had since returning from Tanzania in June. Back in September I had been referred to one of the two GI docs in town, and I expected from what my doc told me that the wait time would be 3-5months. I could live with that. But when I called the GI's booking nurse to ask roughly where I was on the list, I was told I was number 500, and I would be lucky I would get in by May. I'm not going to be in the city from May-Sept because of a placement and then I'm going home for the summer. So I wanted to talk about that and what my options were. I also wanted to talk about the fact my symptoms had gotten worse and that I now had nose bleeds and abdo pain that I had never had before. She didn't acknowledge it at all. I had to FIFE (Feelings, Ideas, Function and Expectations) myself to try to get her to understand what I was going through. Even though I was trying to spell it out clear as day for her, she just brushed it off like it wasn't her problem, which is what the doc I was observing later that day did to her patient.<br />
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I wanted to tell my doc I wasn't sure if I could make it through another 6 months of school with these symptoms, but considering she graduated 4 years ago from the same school I am attending, I felt like I would be judged for being too weak to handle being in medicine. I honestly thought she was going to be a really great doctor, I keep being told that the docs coming out of my school are different and practice patient centred care, but now I am wondering. Now I am not only worried that I won't make it through the year, but if I make it through the next 4 years that I am going to do the same thing to my own patients.<br />
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I think being a patient is harder than training to become a doctor. Acknowledging that might not only make doctors more compassionate, but give patients permission to be sick.<br />
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-2526819263165923562014-10-09T13:50:00.003-07:002014-10-09T13:50:40.532-07:00Learning to Talk<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Med school is a fascinating thing. In the words of my preceptor, "medical schools accept people who are generally very good at talking, interacting with people and are naturally patient centred individuals, and we turn them into biomedical machines who get stuck in conversations."<br />
<br />
I am actually afraid of interviewing patients. Before medical school, I loved talking to people and getting them to tell me about their lives. That is honestly one of the reasons I like to fly so much, you never know who will be sitting next to you for the next 4 hrs. But now, I am paranoid that I will forget to ask something, ask too many closed questions, ask too many vague questions, say something wrong, or make an inappropriate facial expression. Talking to people just became one of the most difficult and nerve racking things I have ever done.<br />
<br />
It's not the workload that is overwhelming, it's learning how to talk, act and essentially be another person almost overnight. And being a former athlete and somebody who has not had to struggle much to do really well in school or other things I have taken up, so I'm not used to being awful at things. Somedays it makes me question whether or not I am cut out to be a doctor. Everybody has told me for such a long time that I would make a "great doctor" but not being good at the actual doctoring bit is really hard. (Note: nobody has told me I am awful, I just feel awful because it is such a struggle to do such a simple thing.)<br />
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Med school isn't hard because of what you need to study, it is hard because of what you need to learn to become.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih3uoAs_FNQLqYjrrlpnhn-jDmpfU2xFjQs1m6G6jrfMqAPGCgyjl-WdG293rh5OQvSU-KnfPgC9-yauvvXBW1zmpmX5gfZ2hbBEo5JiQ64qUdK8MUf61IuUxmVOEh1JrUkva-uPoEyT1h/s1600/medicalterminology.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih3uoAs_FNQLqYjrrlpnhn-jDmpfU2xFjQs1m6G6jrfMqAPGCgyjl-WdG293rh5OQvSU-KnfPgC9-yauvvXBW1zmpmX5gfZ2hbBEo5JiQ64qUdK8MUf61IuUxmVOEh1JrUkva-uPoEyT1h/s1600/medicalterminology.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is how I feel all the time in clinical skills.</td></tr>
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-49367184712935081582014-09-18T16:07:00.001-07:002014-09-18T16:07:09.717-07:00How to be a medical student and a patient<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Basically my dilemma is summed up in the title.<br />
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I am not yet sure how to bridge the issue of me being somebody with chronic medical needs and me becoming somebody who will eventually be caring for others with chronic medical needs.<br />
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I think, right now, at this very moment I want to be a Neurologist. So, last night, when perusing "Access Medicine," there was a video on the side demonstrating a Lumbar Puncture. So I watched it.<br />
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I almost vomited. It wasn't the actual procedure that made me feel ill, it was the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about my own experiences. The procedure filmed looked like there was a lot of CSF that leaked out onto the drape (or what I would call "wasted CSF"), and all I could think of was the raging headache that the patient might have for the next few days.<br />
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I don't understand how I am ever going to be able to do procedures like this without being able to disconnect myself from my patients. </div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-39184952090706980982014-08-31T18:27:00.000-07:002014-08-31T18:27:16.127-07:00Future MDs are Pretty Cool<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I started medical school on August 25th, 2014.<br />
<br />
Well, that was a weird sentence I honestly thought I would never to get to write. It all still seems like a a dream and that eventually I will wake up, and go back to just be regular old me. But I keep waking up in a room that feels foreign in a city I hardly know.<br />
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So far, the only medical school related things I have done were a part of Orientation Week. So these are the following things I have learned so far in medical school:<br />
1. Med students seem to have an endless ability to party<br />
2. As a whole, med students have an above average liquor tolerance<br />
3. Med students are still above average humans when hungover, and surprisingly good at playing quiddich.<br />
4. I feel like every single member of my class (there are only 64 of us...) have amazing talents, incredible life stories and are overall just amazing people that I am excited to spend the next four years of my life getting to know and learning from.<br />
5. Upper Year Med students are kinda crazy.<br />
6. Amazon Prime for students is officially the best way to buy text books in the history of man.<br />
7. Medical schools feed you a lot...and I have decided that they do this to make you too full to ever try to run away.<br />
8. Med School swag is awesome.<br />
9. Getting dressed in the morning and trying to decide if what you are wearing is "Casual," "Business Casual," or "Smart Casual," and which kind of cloths belongs to which category, and whether or not adding a scarf to your outfit makes you "Smart Casual" or "Business Casual," essentially leads to a morning crisis everyday.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2oWuXYsqncZRiQN7zB9X0M4IfFOsYAGH4CJJC20LXl3ArTfig7yNcIjpzoIyQ9WRd3zc_ZonqN5BcQYC6nR4-p1qY1YTgmWPLGVu4WgmA9yPRGUXiVip8a4TeAuvkJ8eyZRo6S4v9mPVi/s1600/b7ac51c4d1692161726930755e82a8b7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2oWuXYsqncZRiQN7zB9X0M4IfFOsYAGH4CJJC20LXl3ArTfig7yNcIjpzoIyQ9WRd3zc_ZonqN5BcQYC6nR4-p1qY1YTgmWPLGVu4WgmA9yPRGUXiVip8a4TeAuvkJ8eyZRo6S4v9mPVi/s1600/b7ac51c4d1692161726930755e82a8b7.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Smart Casual...</td></tr>
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Can somebody please point out the difference???<div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0YoKr9PZbKRNTM3Cbom4Ji-i8h6enq8z0wjeSI1Wbfw_OAkrNVzG59Ed8KEnxf36jB4b5-ceUEdeZGZs8siC83ffQ4C4YMylaSVtkE9X8nuTv2NzhufRJChWKAOEY7ZccKQU-ZGb0B-6/s1600/7111b0a3dbd560b8fcf87e47769ce1a5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0YoKr9PZbKRNTM3Cbom4Ji-i8h6enq8z0wjeSI1Wbfw_OAkrNVzG59Ed8KEnxf36jB4b5-ceUEdeZGZs8siC83ffQ4C4YMylaSVtkE9X8nuTv2NzhufRJChWKAOEY7ZccKQU-ZGb0B-6/s1600/7111b0a3dbd560b8fcf87e47769ce1a5.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And this is Business Casual...</td></tr>
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10. I'm like the only single person in my class...<br />
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Check back in the future to see if I have actually learned anything about medicine!!<br />
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</div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-27832471552779240322014-08-21T16:38:00.000-07:002014-08-21T16:38:09.601-07:00The Doctor Shortage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Finding a Family Doctor in Canada is tough. I have never really had to try that hard to find one, until now that is. Growing up, my Dad always had some sort of business relationship with every doctor in the vicinity, so we never had problems finding one. But then I left the nest at 15, and it was challenging, but my school had a doctor (although, not the best) who I could see before school or in the evenings. Then I went to University, and I had the University Clinic, and then when I changed schools, and a clinic 300m from my house had just hired a new doctor. So far, things have worked out for me, which is really great because you know, the whole chronic pain thing tends to require doctoring.<br />
<br />
But, now that I am going to school in a "northern" community, and in Canada north = nobody wants to live in places that are freezing cold. So naturally, well educated people who can practice anywhere in the country, don't generally choose northern or rural communities. (Hence the formation of my school...). But, in any event, I am having a lot of trouble finding a doctor, especially because I am an out of province student. Being out of province shouldn't matter, given the whole Canada Health Act thingy, but it seems to pose barriers to accessing health care for me in Ontario (another problem to add to problems with the health system/health practices notebook I have been keeping since the 11th grade).<br />
<br />
So in conclusion, the doctor shortage is really affecting me. And to add to another problem, because the community I am studying in only has a population of 110,000, pretty much all of the doctors in the City will be my professors and instructors in the very immediate future.<br />
<br />
It is very strange all of a sudden switching from just being the patient, to being the provider (a very green and IdontKnowAnythingAtAll provider), but still being the patient at the same time. I feel like I am stuck in the middle!!!!<br />
<br />
I never thought about my situation as being both a patient and a physician at the same time, and it is stressing me out. </div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-65847302319123871152014-08-03T12:06:00.000-07:002014-08-03T12:07:22.543-07:00A Tuition Slap in the Face<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Why is that medical schools expect students to say "how high" when they ask you to "jump?"<br />
<br />
We got sent our tuition cost August 1st (we only had estimates before then), and were told it was due on August 15th...There were no mention of due dates before this.<br />
<br />
I thought that after you got into medical school, they would stop throwing unreasonable curve balls at you and expecting you to catch them with your eyes closed. I was clearly wrong on that one.<br />
<br />
I don't know about you, but I don't have $21,300 just chillin' in my bank account at all times. I have enough for the year, but not currently in bank account. And I can't access the majority of it until August 12th plus 2-3days for fund transferring...sweet!<br />
<br />
And to finish off the email, they said "We hope you have a relaxing and enjoyable long weekend!"....yeah, thanks, I will have a great time trying to figure out how to rob a bank.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-13632904879316432014-07-10T16:33:00.002-07:002014-07-10T16:33:46.759-07:00A New Beginning <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Those of you who frequent my blog will have noticed a little change. I am no longer a premed!<br />
<br />
As of this September, I will officially be a first year medical student, studying in Northern Canada. (If you are Canadian, I'm sure you know where this is, if you aren't, I'm sure you know where google is.) It is very exciting, and relieving to know that 4 years of hard work has finally paid off. That all those days stressing about my future and my grades were worth it.<br />
<br />
Something else has also changed. I have finally decided to let go of cycling. Too many concussions, too much risk for crashing and sustaining another concussion. I'm not hanging my bike up forever, but I am boxing away the race gear. I will become a weekend warrior. I love riding a bike, it is probably one of the best feelings in the world, but I want to be a doctor, so now I have to start considering the consequences of injury more than ever before.<br />
<br />
I feel like I need to find a new hobby. Right now I am training for this: www.waves4women.blogspot.ca which has effectively been my hobby from the moment I got home from Tanzania. But I need something while in school to help ground me, and that for me was always cycling. But what now?</div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-28364440342580442912014-05-06T18:14:00.000-07:002014-05-06T18:14:37.864-07:00Lions and Tigers and Bears...Oh My!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm only 1 day late for <a href="http://www.yourdoctorswife.com/p/medical-mondays.html" target="_blank">Medical Mondays</a>...oops. But, I have been really busy with pre-trip preparations (aka packing and seminars) for my trip to Tanzania and we leave this Thursday! But I thought I should drop by seeing as I have been a bit MIA lately.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimvyGiz4WJW0UDfSSRYa398Z25r4P52OacWEAWJWY-SfjWP6fYGTJMLI04goXp3ZNp2d5y6dYu6I19v9ynKX-XDq06u299f0ZZ-WIiPxUt4mtF7Rc3NL9ZBaM45f69cIY3GC4MqjtKVXDE/s1600/Ngorongoro_Conservation_Area_009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimvyGiz4WJW0UDfSSRYa398Z25r4P52OacWEAWJWY-SfjWP6fYGTJMLI04goXp3ZNp2d5y6dYu6I19v9ynKX-XDq06u299f0ZZ-WIiPxUt4mtF7Rc3NL9ZBaM45f69cIY3GC4MqjtKVXDE/s1600/Ngorongoro_Conservation_Area_009.jpg" height="206" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Headed to Ngorongoro Conservation Area to the University of Calgary Field School</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Finishing up my 4th year of undergrad (senior year for the American's in the crowd) was seriously difficult. In the past 4 months, I have have interviewed in 4 different cities in 3 different countries. In the month of March alone, I spent a total of 24 hours on planes and I watched every single movie Air Canada had to offer. I am also now a co-author on a Nature paper that was published a few weeks ago (first publication!), and I successfully defended my honours thesis.<br />
<br />
As you may remember, one of <a href="http://giveit110percent.blogspot.ca/2013/12/goals-for-2014.html" target="_blank">my goals this year</a> was to get a 4.0 in my 4th year, and mission accomplished!! Some how I actually managed to get 100% on the last undergrad paper that I submitted, and in my opinion it was one of he worst because I was only aiming for 77% in order to get an A in the class. Aim low and you will land among the stars?<br />
<br />
I have not yet been accepted into medical school sadly, and the stress is kind of getting to me. I was wait listed at VCU (which was an absolutely amazing school) and people have been started to be accepted off of the wait list...but not me. The two Canadian schools I interviewed at release decisions next week when I am in the middle of no where in Tanzania looking at stool samples. Graduating feels great, but it also kinda feels like crap because I just want to get in.<br />
<br />
Today and tomorrow I am shadowing my lab supervisor, who is on neurology service this week, on morning rounds. It is sort of a goodbye and thank you gift for being "the best undergraduate student he has ever had." All of the residents have been amazing, and are going out of their way to teach me and help me understand what is going on, and it is absolutely a fantastic experience. (I also got to see the inside of the docs lounge...they have their own flippin cafeteria!!) But, it also makes me even more anxious about getting in, I just want to start training for a job I have always dreamed about doing. I look forward to late nights in the library and being on call. These are things most people dread, but I honestly can't wait. Shadowing only confirms this, and will make the disappointment even harder.<br />
I might be crushed next week if I am not accepted into a Canadian school. I have already started my AMCAS application again. But because I will be in Tanzania with likely no internet access, I am not going to be able to submit it one the June 1st opening day, and I am going to have to phone home to parents so see what the results of my other applications are.<br />
<br />
So great to graduate, yet soooo stressful.<br />
<br />
Also, I am still training for the <a href="http://waves4women.blogspot.ca/" target="_blank">35km swim</a>, which has also meant swimming 9x a week for the past 3.5 weeks...so ready for a break!<br />
<br />
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope I have good news in September for y'all (and for my emotional wellbeing). </div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-19102218122865460022014-03-03T16:05:00.000-08:002014-03-03T16:05:22.100-08:00Interview Hopping<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I missed the last <a href="http://www.yourdoctorswife.com/p/medical-mondays.html" target="_blank">Medical Monday</a> because I was desperately trying to get to Richmond, Virginia before my interview at VCU. But lets back up a bit to get you up to speed about what has been going on for the last few months.<br />
<br />
In January, I received interview invitations for 3 different schools in a span of three days. One for VCU on Feb 4th (my top US choice), one for Michigan State on Mar 28 (second choice), and one for Northern Ontario School of Medicine on Mar 29th (that one was a shocker). In that same week, I received an invitation to write the subject test for the Neuroscience MSc/PhD program in Göttingen, Germany. 7 days later I received an invitation for THE interview that I really wanted, which was at my home school, the University of Calgary.<br />
<br />
February 3rd I left the frozen Canadian waste land to fly to Richmond, Virginia for my interview at VCU. Except, my flight out of Calgary was delayed an hour and half due to a mysterious light being on. When we landed in Minneapolis I abandoned my Canadian manners and full out sprinted about 2km from gate A to gate F where my flight to Richmond was departing from. I got to the gate, and the women in Delta colours told me the plane had just closed its doors, and wouldn't re-open them, and that I had been rebooked on a flight that would get me to Richmond at 12:30pm the next day. I had to be at VCU by 11am for the interview.<br />
<br />
Me: "But I have to be there at 11!."<br />
Delta woman: "Well, you won't be."<br />
Me: "This is literally my future we are talking about, the results of tomorrow may very well dictate the rest of my life."<br />
Delta woman: Fake smile<br />
Me: "What about a flight to DC tonight?"<br />
Delta woman: "Oh, yes. We could do that. The last flight closes its doors in 7 minutes. Its back at gate A."<br />
<br />
So, I full out sprinted back to the exact same place I had just come from, but managed to sequester a nice man driving a Delta cart to get me there a little faster. I get to the gate just on time, and I get handed a boarding pass which indicates a 1st class seat (score!). I hurried on to the plane (nobody checked my passport by the way...I guess flights to DC aren't as secure as we thought), I was sweating buckets, clearly didn't belong in first class, and when I arrived at my seat, I noticed it was a window seat....right next to a very nicely dressed US Senator. I have never gotten such a severe death stare in my life. Upon arriving in DC (which is the scariest runway ever, it looks like you are going directly into the river), I was provided with a $300 taxi voucher to get me to Richmond, Virginia. I made it to my hotel by 1 am, after having to spend half of the taxi ride on the phone with the driver's daughter in order to get directions to my hotel because my taxi driver didn't know where he was going. End of story, I made it, I think my interview went well, and VCU blew my mind. I didn't think such amazing schools even existed. As an aside, if Delta had waited 3 minutes, they would have saved them approximately $700, and reduced my cortisol levels about 2 fold...this is why we Canadians love Westjet...they wait for everybody.<br />
<br />
This past Saturday I did my interview for Calgary, I think I nailed 9/12 MMI stations, completely blew 1 (had an awkward 2 minutes of silence because you can't leave the room until the 7 minutes are up and I was totally done discussing the question), and 2 stations that I am a little unsure about. I hope it evens out...on to May 15th!<br />
<br />
Next up on the interview schedule is Göttingen, Germany next Monday. I didn't study for the subject test, and figured my chances of getting an interview were pretty much 0 as I guessed my way through the 40 physics and chemistry questions. But apparently not...or I just failed less than the other 300 people who wrote the test. The program is paying for my travel and accommodation, which is awesome, worst case scenario is that I have a free trip to Germany :).<br />
<br />
But here is my dilemma. The only reason I applied to the program in Germany is because I thought I had no chance of getting into any medical schools that I actually wanted to go to after not hearing from VCU, Michigan and being rejected from UBC. Now I am worried that I will get into a top choice medical school (or any at all), plus the program in Germany. I was hoping to not have to make any decisions. It will be hard to turn down a 3 year PhD program at one of the top scientific institutes in the world (and in Germany), but I also don't know how I could possibly turn down medical school. Best case scenario, I get to defer for 2 years and do an MSc in Germany and come back to a medical school spot. But, its pretty rare to get more than a 1 year deferral.<br />
<br />
Also, my thesis is due in 18 days and I am no where near finished. I don't have time for Germany...but I can't not go...<br />
<br />
Side note: check our <a href="http://waves4women.blogspot.ca/" target="_blank">Waves for Women blog</a>, which my friend Caryn and myself will be chronicling our training and fundraising journey for our 35km open water ocean swim in July to raise money for Women's Cancer Research.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-88106409114727359402014-01-20T20:59:00.001-08:002014-01-20T20:59:30.319-08:00The Floor<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today I spent a long time on the floor of an emergency room. You know those pictures you see of sub-par Canadian hospitals in American media propaganda about how bad universal healthcare is? Well, today I flat out was lying on the floor of the emergency room, creating one of those pictures<br />
<br />
I have a spinal headache from the procedure that I talked about <a href="http://giveit110percent.blogspot.ca/2014/01/the-first-week-of-end-of-my-degree.html" target="_blank">here</a>. If you have ever had a spinal headache, you will know it to be one of the worst headaches of your life, when you are sitting or standing up that is. When you lie down though, it is gone completely - hence the floor.<br />
<br />
You know what? I actually don't even mind that I had to lie on the floor. There was a chair I could have sat on, but it wasn't quite as horizontal as the floor. I am not unhappy with the care I received. I ended up being seen by my own doctor (a specialist) to set up a follow up appointment for Thursday and a team of anesthetists who offered me the choice of doing a blood patch today, or later in the week if my headaches cannot be managed with the pain meds they gave me. I am happy with that. They gave me choices. I chose the conservative route of trying pain medication and then going back directly to anesthesia for a blood patch (skipping the emerg line up) if I feel like I can't take the headache anymore. I think that is awesome. I am not above lying on the floor. I don't have a life threatening emergency, just a painful complication, other patients who are sicker need the bed more than I do.<br />
<br />
Even though I am Canadian, and I believe I have the right to healthcare, I also believe in equitable healthcare. I think, despite the lying on the floor thing, that I received equitable and quality care today. I have the right to healthcare, but not the right to take it away from others.<br />
<br />
Is this just the inbred Canadian niceness coming through, or do I have point here? I am willing to sacrifice my own comfort and not complain about it because I know that resources are being used to help the people who need it most.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFN51D3950yO06I0ulR74UH4nRAWrLcu9CJwVVvSuTwwqKi83UiI6U2r54OpocaEkl0bP53-dGivOVfIZtIZcNkv9VLVr_ribPAyzC6RM9G8qhD0qBqYUVxR0qIg_QqtFYJOj2zF9r19N/s1600/hospital-report-main.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFN51D3950yO06I0ulR74UH4nRAWrLcu9CJwVVvSuTwwqKi83UiI6U2r54OpocaEkl0bP53-dGivOVfIZtIZcNkv9VLVr_ribPAyzC6RM9G8qhD0qBqYUVxR0qIg_QqtFYJOj2zF9r19N/s1600/hospital-report-main.jpg" height="140" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Being in a hallway doesn't mean they aren't receiving the best care possible.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-74286640118316127522014-01-10T18:37:00.002-08:002014-01-10T18:37:31.064-08:00The Worst Day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had a really awful day yesterday. Let me outline for you in a time line<br />
<br />
7:15 am: Missed the bus<br />
7:50 am: swimming behind a rather slowish person, the make a weird dead stop at the bulkhead, I try to avoid them and smash my ankle on the bulkhead. Ankle bleeds and I have severe nerve pain<br />
9:10 am: I stop to check where my 9:30 class is as I stand in line to buy milk for the cereal that I packed to eat after swimming. My student centre reads "No Enrolments." I had been un-enrolled from all of my classes.<br />
9:15-9:45 am: I wait in line at enrolment services<br />
9:45-10:10 am: Person at the registrar tells me all of the classes I was enrolled in are full and she can't enrol me in any of them. I argue that there has to be because was registered in all of them the night before. She makes phone calls, senior official comes, sees my desperations and restores my enrolments.<br />
10:20 am: I arrive at my 9:30 class almost an hour late, and I am not even sure if it is the right class. It was supposed to me neuromuscular physiology, but all the prof was talking about was learning and memory.<br />
10:20-10:45 am: I sit in said class wondering if I am at all in the right place and hoping that I am not, because the class had nothing to do with neuromuscular physiology.<br />
10:45 am: I apologize to prof for being late, and ask if I am in the right class. Sadly, he told me it was neuromuscular physiology.<br />
11:10 am: I arrive back on the campus where my lab is and I go to the cafe to buy milk<br />
11:20 am: I get back to the lab, exhausted, hungry and excited to eat my cereal that I was supposed to eat after the pool. I pour the milk onto my cereal and it comes out in globs.<br />
11:21 am: I dump my cereal in the garbage<br />
11:26 am: I return the spoiled milk to the cafe and get a new one<br />
11:30 am: I get back to the lab, open the milk take a tiny sip and realize it is also bad.<br />
11:32 am: I feel like crying<br />
11:38 am: I return the second expired 2% milk for chocolate milk and have to explain my self to two friends and the cashier again. <br />
11: 45 am: I give up on trying to do anything for the day and I just sit there drinking my not expired milk<br />
<br />
<br />
The thing that really gets me about yesterday is how disappointed I was with Zool 595- Comparative Neuromuscular Physiology having essentially nothing to do with neuromuscular physiology, but more about how squids can learn by watching their fellow squids. I was so excited about this course because neuromuscular neurology is something I am passionate about (you know, cuz I get to live with the ramifications of what happens when it goes wrong everyday) and the course let me down.<br />
<br />
<br />
Today went somewhat better. I did get a bislster though (which are the worst) but that bislster earned me one of the last flu vaccines in the province. </div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-60244986484406537122014-01-05T18:31:00.002-08:002014-01-05T22:35:26.907-08:00The first week of the end of my degree<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I think title says it all, but this is the first week of classes of the last semester of my undergrad degree. Come June I will be happily not walking across the stage to receive my degree in Health Sciences because I will likely still be in Tanzania. (Who would want to sit in stuffy gymnasium for three hours when they could be deep in the Maasai region of Tanzania at a field camp with giraffes walking around?) Needless to say, I am pretty excited that this is the end of my first degree and that I get to finish off with a pretty awesome global health research studentship to Tanzania.<br />
<br />
The unfortunate part is that I will be starting yet another semester with post-concussion syndrome. You may remember <a href="http://giveit110percent.blogspot.ca/2013/10/still-concussed.html" target="_blank">this post from October</a>, well the saga continues. I still have daily headaches, yet they are mainly orthostatic (I get them when I sit up or stand up, but if I lie down they go away). This has led the concussion specialist physiatrist that I am seeing to suspect I may have a CSF leak (which is what I asked about a week after my concussion when I threw up every time I stood up and the ER doc told me it was impossible to occur unless there was a skull fracture). Soo... I have to do a radionucleotide cisternogram (say that thee times fast) in two weeks, which essentially involves a lumbar puncture, an injection of some radioactive nucleotides and me lying on a table in the angiogram suit for 6 hours. I'm not excited...and I think that if it shows I don't have a CSF leak, I likely will have one after this procedure (every time a needle goes into my epidural space I end up with a CSF leak that doesn't resolve its own). From what I am told, this the best test to check for a CSF leak, and apparently they can't do a blood patch (the procedure done to stop CSF leaks) unless there is indication of leak, which there will be no matter what after this procedure because I am 100% certain (based on past experience) that I will end up with one. Some rules and systems don't make any sense and in this case will likely cause unnecessary patient suffering. This procedure seems pointlessly expensive (to taxpayers of course, GO CANADA) and I am fairly certain I will end up needing a blood patch in the end regardless of the test outcome.<br />
<br />
And for further updates, I got wait-listed at Wayne State SOM (which was better than I though based on the strangeness of my interview) and rejected pre-interview by UBC by 0.5 (they give you your application score and the cutoff score for interviews). The UBC thing really upset me because BC has a huge shortage of doctors in rural areas, yet they reject rural applicants at higher rates than those from urban areas (they publish these stats). It has to be recognized that opportunities to build up extracurricular activities in a small town are limited (like there are none), I made some of my own, but even that was a struggle. Anyway, if i don't get in anywhere this year, I know my GPA will be high enough to put me above the interview cutoff for next year for UBC.<br />
<br />
On another note I spontaneously decided to apply for graduate school in <a href="http://www.gpneuro.uni-goettingen.de/content/c_feature.php" target="_blank">Gottingen, Germany</a>. But sadly if they like me I essentially have to repeat the a German version of the MCAT (in English thankfully) so now I have go back to studying plant ecology, physics and chemistry.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieR-PAcn7xdXuRzZdePVzeznUSuSNk7GkfMTjzUsAQ6FMSBXM5nL8yHGFfMqCXwcNLsCXMSCvObg-yvfwWGmheuStdf1-XF6nYBMtuavJdAWVLJvQRpjTZPdmwV__rk6Qpvmbi7EWI9On0/s1600/125109_universidad_de_valladolid..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieR-PAcn7xdXuRzZdePVzeznUSuSNk7GkfMTjzUsAQ6FMSBXM5nL8yHGFfMqCXwcNLsCXMSCvObg-yvfwWGmheuStdf1-XF6nYBMtuavJdAWVLJvQRpjTZPdmwV__rk6Qpvmbi7EWI9On0/s1600/125109_universidad_de_valladolid..jpg" height="288" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who wouldn't want to get a MSc or PhD from here? </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Despite all of these emotional up and downs, and headaches caused by the physical ups and downs, I'm excited for what 2014 has in store. This year represents a void of the unknown and not knowing what is going to happen is always exciting. It also represents long hours in the lab trying to finish my honours thesis on time (so I can actually graduate) and the challenge of fulfilling these <a href="http://giveit110percent.blogspot.ca/2013/12/goals-for-2014.html" target="_blank">10 goals. </a><br />
<br />
I hope your 2014 is filled with moments of joy but also full challenges that help you realize its okay to not be in control, and of course, many <a href="http://www.yourdoctorswife.com/p/medical-mondays.html" target="_blank">Medical Mondays </a>(12 to be exact).<br />
<br />
Thanks for stopping by!!<br />
<br />
(I should also share that I get to snag link up spot 1 because I am in a different time zone, so technically it is still Sunday here. There are some perks of living in mountain time, in addition to the mountains and -20°C weather.) </div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-48847835392017106442013-12-31T15:13:00.000-08:002014-01-01T22:05:58.322-08:00Goals for 2014<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here we go, the cliche post that all bloggers do every year.<br />
<br />
10 things I hope to accomplish in 2014 (in order of priority):<br />
<br />
1. Learn more about Buddhism and start practicing more mindful living<br />
2. Go with the flow - what ever happens after graduation will happen and it will be awesome<br />
3. Swim across the Strait of Georgia (more on that later, its a legit thing, stay tuned for more info)<br />
4. Spend less time on facebook<br />
5. Complete my 4th year with a 4.0 (so far so good)<br />
6. Focus less on what I need to do to get into med school and just enjoy being 21.<br />
7. Dance more<br />
8. Eat salad for dinner at least once a weak<br />
9. Bake something at least once a month and share it with others<br />
10. Eat less sugar<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKQfBpu42auJ0CYuV1vM3QO9mTeczQR1dfPb7G5iEljiMO2yFTE6CIRBDjUgMDidEeRrDKpC2jYo5o1SGHOYIWFXJlk3Jkikv6ooCA8cckRSOEb5mM3qnIVeYmGtik1GxLmKgn4XR4gslt/s1600/relax.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKQfBpu42auJ0CYuV1vM3QO9mTeczQR1dfPb7G5iEljiMO2yFTE6CIRBDjUgMDidEeRrDKpC2jYo5o1SGHOYIWFXJlk3Jkikv6ooCA8cckRSOEb5mM3qnIVeYmGtik1GxLmKgn4XR4gslt/s640/relax.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just swimming a long in a glacier fed lake in the Canadian wilderness</td></tr>
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-87927716930547646802013-12-07T21:58:00.001-08:002013-12-07T21:58:53.215-08:00Torture<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I won't name schools or anything, but this one school that keeps sending emails to the entire applicant pool about how they will be emailing us about interview invitations and rejections in the near future is really annoying.<br />
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Three years ago, rejection and interview invitation emails went out the last week of November.<br />
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Nov 29th: I see email from said school while waiting to see a doctor, I decide to open it to just get it over with, because it could either be great news or crush my heart. All the e-mail was about to tell us that we will receive in e-mail in the next two weeks with regards to our status, ie interview or rejection. My heart rate when back to normal, but then come Dec 2nd, I start obsessively checking my email.<br />
<br />
Last year, on the first Thursday of December, rejection emails went out. So...<br />
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Dec 5th: I receive an e-mail from said school, and I was devastated because I was 99% certain that it was a rejection email. I open said email, "This is an e-mail to all applicants. Due to the higher number of applicants this year, we will not be notifying you of your application status until next week. Enjoy the weekend." Enjoy the weekend my arse!<br />
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Now I'm just angry. This is the second e-mail where I thought that I had been rejected. Now next week I know for sure the e-mail is coming. I hate knowing dates of things because then I start obsessively checking, I would rather it be a surprise. I also hate said school right now for their stupid e-mailing. They need to just not. This also happens to be the only school I care about, the school that I have wanted to go to since I was in elementary school. For some reason not getting an interview anywhere else in the world doesn't bother me as much as not getting one at this particular school. I know I will be pretty upset if I don't get an interview.<br />
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Grrr, these two weeks are just awful.</div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-318662511334060722013-11-03T21:13:00.000-08:002013-11-05T09:03:12.440-08:0021 Reasons <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today is a big day for me.<br />
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Today is the day I turn 21, and to honour this day in history, I thought I should make a list of 21 reasons why my life is awesome right now.<br />
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1. Today is my birthday, which just makes today great despite what may happen today.<br />
2. I got a Macbook Pro for my Birthday, now I don't have to stress about having a computer that keeps crashing.<br />
3. I have an amazing family, and they drove all the way to Calgary this past weekend just to celebrate my Birthday.<br />
4. I have interview at Wayne State School of Medicine on Nov. 27th!<br />
5. The <a href="http://www%2Ccalwho.org/" target="_blank">global health conference</a> that I have been planning for almost a year happens this weekend, Nov 9-11th. This is the biggest project I have ever attempted to pull off, and I am excited to help other students become passionate about global health. <br />
6. I have some pretty amazing friends who are not only there for the ups in life, but who are also there for the downs.<br />
7. All of my medical school applications are done!!<br />
8. I got mounds of chocolate and food for my Birthday, so now I'm good until Christmas.<br />
9. I've come to accept the fact I will likely never really race a bike again, and that cycling will become a pastime, rather than a lifeline, and I am okay with that.<br />
10. I might be going to Tanzania in May!<br />
11. I have super comfortable bed (this is actually pretty important).<br />
12. I am completely okay with not getting to medical school this cycle. My plans for next year are actually awesome no matter what. If I don't get in, I'm going to work, and then travel to as many countries in as many continents as I can. Sounds better than dissecting cadavers right?<br />
13. I have GF cake left over from my family Birthday party yesterday (cake makes life better no matter what).<br />
14. I am actually doing pretty well in gross anatomy, even if it does feel a bit overwhelming sometimes.<br />
15. I might be really behind on my research for my honours thesis, but my lab members are awesome, and I know that they will support me through it.<br />
16. I don't have life figured out yet, and I think that is just fine, we don't always need a plan.<br />
17. My parents brought my guitar from home. I haven't played since grade 9, but I am excited to get some more music back in my life.<br />
18. It snowed this weekend! While winter is not as pleasant as summer, I like to appreciate all seasons for what they are and the gifts that they bring, like skiing!!!<br />
19. I'm thankful that I decided to take the plunge and transfer from UoGuelph to uCalgary a year ago, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I don't regret going to Guelph, I don't think I would be where I am today had I not started out there. Everything works out as it should in the end.<br />
20. I'm a strong person, I've been through more than I should have after only being on this earth for 21 years, and I appreciate everything that I have learned about life through trials and struggles. It will make me a better doctor.<br />
21. Being able to dance like nobody is watching. We can all do this, and doing it makes life way more awesome. You should try it sometime.<br />
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Life is great, even when it sucks sometimes, it is still pretty great.<br />
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-44752210152498520552013-10-30T21:14:00.000-07:002013-10-30T21:28:08.650-07:00The Wounded Healer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.90625px;">I am taking a class called "Psychosocial Oncology" and today's lecture was about palliative care. The two instructors giving the lecture were what most people would consider in medicine to have opposing jobs. One had a doctorate and was a member of the spiritual care team, the other was a physician and the director of the acute-intensive palliative care unit. Together, they helped me to redefine my notions of adult palliative care, and I was astounded by their abilities to interconnect their roles. Needless to say, I learned a lot about the process of dying, both from a medical perspective and spiritual</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.90625px;"> one. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.90625px;">5 things I learned today about dying:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #ffe599; line-height: 18.90625px;">1. 93% of palliative care patients ranked maintaining a sense of humour to the end as one of the most important things</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #ffe599; line-height: 18.90625px;">2. 0.5% of people in Oregon choose physician assisted suicide despite it being a readily available option</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #ffe599; line-height: 18.90625px;">3. Palliative Care physicians are often more influential and important in the life of a person who is dying than any of their "active treatment" physicians</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #ffe599; line-height: 18.90625px;">4. Palliative Care medicine actually involves a lot of "real medicine," its not just about pain control</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #ffe599; line-height: 18.90625px;">5. Most people who are dying have little desire to confess their sins or wrongdoings at the end, people do not consider them to be important to them any more.</span></span><br />
<a href="http://woundedhealerwarrior.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/mend-broken-heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><img border="0" height="163" src="http://woundedhealerwarrior.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/mend-broken-heart.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #ffe599; line-height: 18.90625px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #ffe599; line-height: 18.90625px;">When we were discussing the importance of physicians and members of the palliative care team to let down their barriers, show their emotions and connect with patients, this quote was on the slide:</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.90625px;"><b>"The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals." - Carl Jung</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.90625px;">I'm not sure how I have made it almost 21 years now with out ever seeing this quote from Carl Jung. I have been beginning to doubt whether or not I can make other well if I am not entirely free of illness myself. But I now feel again that strong sense of purpose, and what I guess you could label as "my calling" to medicine. I don't believe that everything happens for a reason, but I am grateful that this quote was on the slide today, it was exactly what I needed. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.90625px;">Perhaps me being in pain, will allow me to heal somebody that others cannot.</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.90625px;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.90625px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.90625px;">I will someday be a Wounder Healer.</span></span><br />
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-26266168212856208552013-10-07T20:51:00.000-07:002013-10-09T07:07:09.056-07:00Still Concussed<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My last Medical Monday's post was back in <a href="http://giveit110percent.blogspot.ca/2013/08/the-crash-and-road-rash.html" target="_blank">August</a>, and it was about the "little" crash I had at a local bike race.<br />
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I still have symptoms of an "acute concussion." I don't quite understand how it can be considered "acute" when it is over 2 months past the date of injury. But I'm not a doctor (yet). I can't ride a bike, or do any form of exercise, and school is more challenging than it should be. (Although, I think I did pretty well on my anatomy peripatetic today.) This is a really bad way to be starting off my final year of undergrad, with applications to finish, scholarships to apply for, 4.0s to maintain, a conference to plan and oh yeah, this thing called an Honour's Thesis.<br />
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Its going to be a long semester of headaches, concussion physio (I didn't even know that was a thing, and you think with this being my 6th concussion, somebody would have told me about this by now) and trips to the sport medicine clinic. I have a referral to "complex concussion physiatrist," I didn't even know that was a specialty. (Look all the things I am learning about medicine by having a concussion!!) The not exercising part is the worst because exercises is how I deal with pain, no exercise, worse pain, worse pain, worse grades. Apparently physiatrists have solutions for these kinds of dilemmas? I'm not sure if I will ever race a bike again...but I have other plans if I can't.<br />
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I hope you are all having a bettter <a href="http://www.yourdoctorswife.com/2013/10/medical-monday-october-volume-2.html" target="_blank">Medical Monday</a> than I am, one not filled with headaches and cadavers with pins in them and pages of anatomy questions. Now back to studying for the written portion of my anatomy exam which is on Wednesday (don't y'all just miss school??).<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/67/Concussion_Anatomy.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/67/Concussion_Anatomy.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is almost exactly what my concussion looked like (but with a helmet), conveniently thanks to Anatomy class I can identify all the structures in this diagram. Yipee!</td></tr>
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-67427240535893133182013-08-24T19:52:00.000-07:002013-08-24T19:52:18.290-07:00Everything is happening at once!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I hoped that by submitting my AMCAS application on June 28th that I would have it verified by mid to end of July...It was verified this past Thursday, August 22nd. Now I have the issues of having to complete all of my secondaries for US schools, plus finish my application for Canadian schools...everything is happening at once!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
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Arg. I planned it so that I wouldn't have multiple applications to complete at the same time, but the world has slammed that plan 500m below the earth's crust.<br />
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Here is to staring school and medical school applications at the same time! (Oh, and I also haven't finished my summer research project, so I have got that going on too...)<br />
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-30323073402145624912013-08-03T22:27:00.000-07:002013-08-05T12:10:15.919-07:00The Crash and the Road Rash<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I went to a local criterium race last Tuesday, like I do every Tuesday, only this time, things went horribly wrong. I was working late in the lab trying to finish up nerve conduction on my mice and didn't finish until about 6:30. I debated whether or not to go to the race because it started at 7:30, and I didn't have much time.I ended up deciding to go, because I have been feeling pretty down lately and trying to internally work things through as they relate to cycling. I ran home, scarfed down a bowl of cereal, changed into my kit, and jumped on my bike.<br />
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Well, folks, on the second lap of the race, I crashed. And it wasn't just a little crash. I don't really remember what happened, but I know my wheels just went out from underneath me, I don't know why, or how, but they did. I hit my head pretty hard and smashed the front of my helmet in. All I remember is that sickening feeling when your bike starts to move out from underneath you, sliding along the pavement, and then sitting up to check my helmet. Then somehow was lying on the grass with all of these people looking around me. I don't know if I just can't remember how I got to the grass, or if I lost consciousness...either way, I ended up being surrounded by about 10 people lying on the grass at the side of the road.</div>
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Some nice guy drove me to the hospital, which was less than 5 minutes from the race, and the race organizer called my room-mate to come meet me. (We conveniently live directly across the street from the largest trauma centre in Alberta.) I spent 7 hours in emerg, 5.5 of which I was waiting to be seen by a doctor. I just sat there, shivering, bleeding and trying not to throw up on the person next to me. Eventually, when I was seen, I was declared to have concussion (duh) and severe road rash (double duh). They gave me a Percoset, referred me to the burn clinic and sent me home. They didn't even attempt to clean my road rash or put any sort of dressing on it. Normally I am a big advocate of Canadian Healthcare, but I'm seriously a bit pissed off right now.</div>
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I am super thankful that the ER doc had the sense to refer me to the burn clinic, otherwise I would be in so much pain. When I went to the burn clinic on Wednesday, and the nurse saw that I didn't have any dressings on any of the road rash (which is covering 10% of my body) and that it hadn't been cleaned she went ape sh**t. The two worst burns that I have are on my upper right arm and right hip/pelvic bone. Because they didn't clean anything, or really look at the burns, nobody noticed that I had bone exposed on my right hip. (Yes folks, I spent 20 hours with a bone exposed from road rash without it being cleaned or bandaged.)Lets just say that the cleaning of the burns definitely makes my top 10 list of most painful experiences (and I have chronic pain...).<br />
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Canadian healthcare has both failed me and saved me since my injuries on Tuesday. I am grateful that I get to wear $200 worth of silver bandages, and that I get to have them changed and cleaned everyday other day without paying a dime. But also super pissed off that the ER doc didn't do the job that I waited 7 hours for him to do.I get that they were busy, but come on, you still have to provide necessary care.</div>
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I also feel really awful about the fact that I caused the crash, and the the woman behind me who is an amazing bike racer broke her wrist and can't race this weekend. She didn't seem up set about the fact that I was the reason she broke her wrist, which is good, but I still feel awful about it. Crashing is an unfortunate part of cycling. </div>
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For a long while I have been thinking about giving up cycling for good. It is insanely hard to try and train and race at the level I need to be at without having a functioning lower right leg. It is like I am riding on jello. I might be eligible for para-cycling, but I have essentially been waiting about 9 months to get medical documentation and a proper neuro assessment. I still want to ride my bike because I love it, (well, not at this moment) but racing is not something that I can do right now. (The Tuesday night criterium series doesn't count as racing because it's just for fun.) I am getting super depressed about not going to Canada Games (which are going on right now), as it has been my goal for the past few years, and that goal has essentially been crushed. I am not at the level I need to be to competitive at Canada Games, and I am fully aware of that, it just sucks that it is all because of a medically unnecessary surgery when I was 15. In a way the concussion makes me feel a bit better that I am not going to Canada Games, because even if I was set to fly to Quebec next Saturday, I wouldn't be able to compete with a concussion.<br />
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I guess all this time I am spending sleeping and not exercising will give me more time to reflect on what I want to do with cycling, and also time to finish up my application for UBC's School of Medicine. It's just unfortunate that somebody had to break their wrist, and I had to lose a lot of skin and smash my head into the pavement to take this time to reflect.<br />
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(This is also concussion number 6 for me, so I should probably get off this computer.)</div>
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-68289260016530471402013-07-04T21:27:00.002-07:002013-07-04T21:44:25.942-07:00I think I want to be a Surgeon. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
To Spencer,<br />
<br />
For a long time I have wanted to be a surgeon, probably since I watch the first season of Grey's Anatomy when I was 12. While Grey's Anatomy is pretty unrealistic (but a girl can dream right?), I still had difficulty wrapping my mind around how a person could operate for 10-12 hours straight. How is it possible to focus for that long without eating or going to the bathroom? I feel like I need to eat every 37 seconds and go pee at least once every 3 hours. (Lets just say I find exams challenging...)<br />
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But this week I had to do 20 sciatic nerve crush surgeries on mice, and each one takes about an hour. For two days I did 10 hours straight of surgeries without eating or going to the bathroom. I got the lab at 8 am on Tuesday and left at 9pm, and on Wednesday I got there at 8am and left after 10pm. I have the new record for longest time a summer student has ever spent in the lab. I'm pretty sick of looking at mice and I still have to inject them until the 8th of July.<br />
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This experience has showed me that I actually might be able to be a surgeon. I really quite enjoy the tedious and fine motor skills aspect of doing surgeries on mice. I am the only one in the lab able to do it without aid of a microscope. I can see details that others can't see with a naked eye. Perhaps surgery is in my future.<br />
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This post is dedicated to <a href="http://toquegirls.com/dr-spencer-r-mclean-frcsc/" target="_blank">Dr. Spencer McLean.</a>, who sadly passed away on June 24 from kidney cancer. He had just completed his orthopedic surgery residency and passed his boards two weeks prior to his death. He was my ski coach for 3 years as a child, and every year I hoped that I would be assigned to his group. Spencer was my absolute favourite coach, and he always will be for he taught me a lot more than just how to be fast on a pair of skis. He taught me that skiing makes you one with the mountain, it makes you a part of something magnificent. He taught me that you must first love what you do, be passionate about what you do, and then you must work hard in order to become great.<br />
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From what I have heard, he became an amazing surgeon, dedicated to his patients in every way. He loved what he did, he was passionate about it and he was great at it. I think I have always wanted to "be like Spencer," he was the perfect mentor. He is a person I will never forget and who I will think of often as I begin my journey to becoming a physician, and hopefully a surgeon.<br />
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Thank you Spencer for inspiring me to reach high, work hard and to enjoy the ride.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
<br />
A Yiper</div>
Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768245046714924996.post-7925136545912807752013-07-01T21:25:00.001-07:002013-07-01T21:30:57.362-07:00Shadowing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I had a pretty impressive morning of shadowing last Wednesday, followed by a somewhat less exciting afternoon of looking at mice in square boxes, cleaning up their excretions and testing their grip strength. But I am sure, you don't want to hear about what I do with mice...back to shadowing.<br />
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I shadowed my PI in the neuromuscular clinic, and it was needless to say a really great learning experience. I wasn't too sure how good of a teacher he would be, but he turned out to be pretty great. He explained all the cases to me, what each part of the neuro-exam looks for, the EMG results, and patient histories (some which were more complicated than mine). The first patient we saw was a younger women (early 40's) who had massive file and extensive history. I empathized with her because it seemed like she had been through a similar experience as me when I first got sick. She has seen pretty much every specialist in the city (a neuroimmunologist? I didn't even know that existed), has had extensive testing, has been "combative" towards doctors demanding tests/medications, and at one point wanted to go to the Mayo clinic. Her story seems kinda like mine (I was never combative though, but definitely frustrated). I almost wanted to just give her a hug, and I really wanted to tell her that I truly understood what she was going through, but alas, I was but a mere shadow.<br />
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The last patient we saw was a woman in her 50s who had an ethanol induced neuropathy. She doesn't take the vitamins that she needs (B1) which can reverse the neuropathy, she continues to consume alcohol, won't go to physiotherapy and doesn't have a family doctor. She had so much muscle wasting that she looked like a person with muscular dystrophy, and she can no longer straighten her legs so she is wheelchair bound. Non-compliance has committed her to a death sentence from a curable disease. Because of her, I witnessed for the first time what it is like to tell somebody that they will die, and soon, from a condition that is in fact reversible.<br />
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It is going to be interesting when I finally become a doctor, I think I am going to see myself reflected back to me in the experience of patients. In almost every patient we saw, I recognized something of my own story in the story of the patients. I empathized with the frustrations of one, the research tenacity of another, the ability of one patient to push through the pain, and realization of a grim future of another. I hope I never lose this empathy. At the same time though, I would give anything for my condition to just disappear by taking some vitamins, most people would, so I don't know how I am going to react when I encounter non-compliant patients. I see non-compliance as selfish, and I feel it makes the role of a doctor almost meaningless.<br />
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Needless to say, shadowing was an enlightening experience, which motivated me to submit my AMCAS application on Friday (even though I am still waiting for one transcript to arrive at AMCAS). I also started my application for UBC and the rest of the Canadian applications open up in a couple of weeks. The ball is rolling, and I have started to have nightmares since I submitted my AMCAS application. Looks like it is going to be a long wait until May 15, 2014....<br />
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PS Happy Canada Day!!!</div>
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Kayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549745119392562695noreply@blogger.com2