I always here people say to or about a friend, a loved one or somebody that they don't even know that "Suicide is never the answer." (Before you get your spandex shorts in a knot, this post isn't going to be about me contemplating suicide...in fact it is not about me at all.) When people say things like this I find that it makes me almost irate, not because I think suicide is a good option, but because people who say that is not an answer to your problem clearly have no idea what that person is going through.
Today's post is about how a boy, living in my city, thought it was the only option. This boy's story can be read here and his name is Dom. Dom had chronic pain that started when he was 14, and it progressed to the point where it was so badly controlled, that by the time he was 18 he decided that his only option to end the pain was suicide. And now I bet you are thinking that: "No, there must have been a better option, there must have been treatments....there must have been something other than suicide that would ease his pain!" Well, my friends, as somebody who has chronic pain, you are eventually told that there is nothing more that can be done to help you, other than physical and emotional therapy. See, Dom was a teenager, and chronic pain is something that people, let alone other teenagers, can rarely comprehend. They don't understand why you can't just get out of bed and go to that party on Friday night or why you can't go shopping after school. Unless you have chronic pain, you cannot understand what it is like (even if you are a doctor, or a medical student or a personally know somebody with the disease).
Dom made the decision to end the pain because our medical and social system failed him. The only thing that kept me out of the depths of isolation and depression when it all first started for me was that I had teachers who had chronic pain, the fact I was at a boarding school where I was constantly surrounded by people making isolation impossible, I had a doctor who tried absolutely everything to help me and I had my bike. I was lucky to be where I was at the time...luck, pure luck, and without it, I don't know where I would be. Dom was completely imprisoned by pain, without doctors to fight for him or friends to pull him out of the depths of blinding pain. If you where him, would you be okay with having your mom spoon feed you for the rest of your life? Would you be okay with asking you sister to help you put on your socks at 18 years old? I wouldn't.
So don't judge somebody when they decide that taking their own life is the only solution, because for them it just might be. For me, I had decided to find my own solution, to spend my life in the lab trying to fix this problem. I still have hope, Dom didn't. I can tell you that even if you believe people who commit suicide go to hell (which I absolutely don't), hell might just be better than having every inch of your body be on fire all the time.
Just think about it for a moment, what would you honestly do in Dom's situation?
Today's post is about how a boy, living in my city, thought it was the only option. This boy's story can be read here and his name is Dom. Dom had chronic pain that started when he was 14, and it progressed to the point where it was so badly controlled, that by the time he was 18 he decided that his only option to end the pain was suicide. And now I bet you are thinking that: "No, there must have been a better option, there must have been treatments....there must have been something other than suicide that would ease his pain!" Well, my friends, as somebody who has chronic pain, you are eventually told that there is nothing more that can be done to help you, other than physical and emotional therapy. See, Dom was a teenager, and chronic pain is something that people, let alone other teenagers, can rarely comprehend. They don't understand why you can't just get out of bed and go to that party on Friday night or why you can't go shopping after school. Unless you have chronic pain, you cannot understand what it is like (even if you are a doctor, or a medical student or a personally know somebody with the disease).
Dom made the decision to end the pain because our medical and social system failed him. The only thing that kept me out of the depths of isolation and depression when it all first started for me was that I had teachers who had chronic pain, the fact I was at a boarding school where I was constantly surrounded by people making isolation impossible, I had a doctor who tried absolutely everything to help me and I had my bike. I was lucky to be where I was at the time...luck, pure luck, and without it, I don't know where I would be. Dom was completely imprisoned by pain, without doctors to fight for him or friends to pull him out of the depths of blinding pain. If you where him, would you be okay with having your mom spoon feed you for the rest of your life? Would you be okay with asking you sister to help you put on your socks at 18 years old? I wouldn't.
So don't judge somebody when they decide that taking their own life is the only solution, because for them it just might be. For me, I had decided to find my own solution, to spend my life in the lab trying to fix this problem. I still have hope, Dom didn't. I can tell you that even if you believe people who commit suicide go to hell (which I absolutely don't), hell might just be better than having every inch of your body be on fire all the time.
Just think about it for a moment, what would you honestly do in Dom's situation?
