I think I want to be a Surgeon.

To Spencer,

For a long time I have wanted to be a surgeon, probably since I watch the first season of Grey's Anatomy when I was 12. While Grey's Anatomy is pretty unrealistic (but a girl can dream right?), I still had difficulty wrapping my mind around how a person could operate for 10-12 hours straight. How is it possible to focus for that long without eating or going to the bathroom? I feel like I need to eat every 37 seconds and go pee at least once every 3 hours.  (Lets just say I find exams challenging...)

But this week I had to do 20 sciatic nerve crush surgeries on mice, and each one takes about an hour. For two days I did 10 hours straight of surgeries without eating or going to the bathroom. I got the lab at 8 am on Tuesday and left at 9pm, and on Wednesday I got there at 8am and left after 10pm. I have the new record for longest time a summer student has ever spent in the lab. I'm pretty sick of looking at mice and I still have to inject them until the 8th of July.

This experience has showed me that I actually might be able to be a surgeon. I really quite enjoy the tedious and fine motor skills aspect of doing surgeries on mice. I am the only one in the lab able to do it without aid of a microscope. I can see details that others can't see with a naked eye. Perhaps surgery is in my future.

This post is dedicated to Dr. Spencer McLean., who sadly passed away on June 24 from kidney cancer. He had just completed his orthopedic surgery residency and passed his boards two weeks prior to his death. He was my ski coach for 3 years as a child, and every year I hoped that I would be assigned to his group. Spencer was my absolute favourite coach, and he always will be for he taught me a lot more than just how to be fast on a pair of skis. He taught me that skiing makes you one with the mountain, it makes you a part of something magnificent. He taught me that you must first love what you do, be passionate about what  you do, and then you must work hard in order to become great.

From what I have heard, he became an amazing surgeon, dedicated to his patients in every way. He loved what he did, he was passionate about it and he was great at it. I think I have always wanted to "be like Spencer," he was the perfect mentor. He is a person I will never forget and who I will think of often as I begin my journey to becoming a physician, and hopefully a surgeon.

Thank you Spencer for inspiring me to reach high, work hard and to enjoy the ride.

Sincerely,

A Yiper

Shadowing

I had a pretty impressive morning of shadowing last Wednesday, followed by a somewhat less exciting afternoon of looking at mice in square boxes, cleaning up their excretions and testing their grip strength. But I am sure, you don't want to hear about what I do with mice...back to shadowing.

I shadowed my PI in the neuromuscular clinic, and it was needless to say a really great learning experience. I wasn't too sure how good of a teacher he would be, but he turned out to be pretty great. He explained all the cases to me, what each part of the neuro-exam looks for, the EMG results, and patient histories (some which were more complicated than mine). The first patient we saw was a younger women (early 40's) who had massive file and extensive history. I empathized with her because it seemed like she had been through a similar experience as me when I first got sick. She has seen pretty much every specialist in the city (a neuroimmunologist? I didn't even know that existed), has had extensive testing, has been "combative" towards doctors demanding tests/medications, and at one point wanted to go to the Mayo clinic. Her story seems kinda like mine (I was never combative though, but definitely frustrated). I almost wanted to just give her a hug, and I really wanted to tell her that I truly understood what she was going through, but alas, I was but a mere shadow.

The last patient we saw was a woman in her 50s who had an ethanol induced neuropathy. She doesn't take the vitamins that she needs (B1) which can reverse the neuropathy, she continues to consume alcohol, won't go to physiotherapy and doesn't have a family doctor. She had so much muscle wasting that she looked like a person with muscular dystrophy, and she can no longer straighten her legs so she is wheelchair bound. Non-compliance has committed her to a death sentence from a curable disease. Because of her, I witnessed for the first time what it is like to tell somebody that they will die, and soon, from a condition that is in fact reversible.

It is going to be interesting when I finally become a doctor, I think I am going to see myself reflected back to me in the experience of patients. In almost every patient we saw, I recognized something of my own story in the story of the patients. I empathized with the frustrations of one, the research tenacity of another, the ability of one patient to push through the pain, and realization of a grim future of another. I hope I never lose this empathy. At the same time though, I would give anything for my condition to just disappear by taking some vitamins, most people would, so I don't know how I am going to react when I encounter non-compliant patients. I see non-compliance as selfish, and I feel it makes the role of a doctor almost meaningless.


Needless to say, shadowing was an enlightening experience, which motivated me to submit my AMCAS application on Friday (even though I am still waiting for one transcript to arrive at AMCAS). I also started my application for UBC and the rest of the Canadian applications open up in a couple of weeks. The ball is rolling, and I have started to have nightmares since I submitted my AMCAS application. Looks like it is going to be a long wait until May 15, 2014....


PS Happy Canada Day!!!