Lions and Tigers and Bears...Oh My!

I'm only 1 day late for Medical Mondays...oops. But, I have been really busy with pre-trip preparations (aka packing and seminars) for my trip to Tanzania and we leave this Thursday! But I thought I should drop by seeing as I have been a bit MIA lately.

Headed to Ngorongoro Conservation Area to the University of Calgary Field School

Finishing up my 4th year of undergrad (senior year for the American's in the crowd) was seriously difficult. In the past 4 months, I have have interviewed in 4 different cities in 3 different countries. In the month of March alone, I spent a total of 24 hours on planes and I watched every single movie Air Canada had to offer. I am also now a co-author on a Nature paper that was published a few weeks ago (first publication!), and I successfully defended my honours thesis.

As you may remember, one of my goals this year was to get a 4.0 in my 4th year, and mission accomplished!! Some how I actually managed to get 100% on the last undergrad paper that I submitted, and in my opinion it was one of he worst because I was only aiming for 77% in order to get an A in the class. Aim low and you will land among the stars?

I have not yet been accepted into medical school sadly, and the stress is kind of getting to me. I was wait listed at VCU (which was an absolutely amazing school) and people have been started to be accepted off of the wait list...but not me. The two Canadian schools I interviewed at release decisions next week when I am in the middle of no where in Tanzania looking at stool samples. Graduating feels great, but it also kinda feels like crap because I just want to get in.

Today and tomorrow I am shadowing my lab supervisor, who is on neurology service this week, on morning rounds. It is sort of a goodbye and thank you gift for being "the best undergraduate student he has ever had." All of the residents have been amazing, and are going out of their way to teach me and help me understand what is going on, and it is absolutely a fantastic experience. (I also got to see the inside of the docs lounge...they have their own flippin cafeteria!!) But, it also makes me even more anxious about getting in, I just want to start training for a job I have always dreamed about doing. I look forward to late nights in the library and being on call. These are things most people dread, but I honestly can't wait. Shadowing only confirms this, and will make the disappointment even harder.
I might be crushed next week if I am not accepted into a Canadian school. I have already started my AMCAS application again. But because I will be in Tanzania with likely no internet access, I am not going to be able to submit it one the June 1st opening day, and I am going to have to phone home to parents so see what the results of my other applications are.

So great to graduate, yet soooo stressful.

Also, I am still training for the 35km swim, which has also meant swimming 9x a week for the past 3.5 weeks...so ready for a break!

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope I have good news in September for y'all (and for my emotional wellbeing). 

Interview Hopping

I missed the last Medical Monday because I was desperately trying to get to Richmond, Virginia before my interview at VCU. But lets back up a bit to get you up to speed about what has been going on for the last few months.

In January, I received interview invitations for 3 different schools in a span of three days. One for VCU on Feb 4th (my top US choice), one for Michigan State on Mar 28 (second choice), and one for Northern Ontario School of Medicine on Mar 29th (that one was a shocker). In that same week, I received an invitation to write the subject test for the Neuroscience MSc/PhD program in Göttingen, Germany. 7 days later I received an invitation for THE interview that I really wanted, which was at my home school, the University of Calgary.

February 3rd I left the frozen Canadian waste land to fly to Richmond, Virginia for my interview at VCU. Except, my flight out of Calgary was delayed an hour and half due to a mysterious light being on. When we landed in Minneapolis I abandoned my Canadian manners and full out sprinted about 2km from gate A to gate F where my flight to Richmond was departing from. I got to the gate, and the women in Delta colours told me the plane had just closed its doors, and wouldn't re-open them, and that I had been rebooked on a flight that would get me to Richmond at 12:30pm the next day. I had to be at VCU by 11am for the interview.

Me: "But I have to be there at 11!."
Delta woman: "Well, you won't be."
Me: "This is literally my future we are talking about, the results of tomorrow may very well dictate the rest of my life."
Delta woman: Fake smile
Me: "What about a flight to DC tonight?"
Delta woman: "Oh, yes. We could do that. The last flight closes its doors in 7 minutes. Its back at gate A."

So, I full out sprinted back to the exact same place I had just come from, but managed to sequester a nice man driving a Delta cart to get me there a little faster. I get to the gate just on time, and I get handed a boarding pass which indicates a 1st class seat (score!). I hurried on to the plane (nobody checked my passport by the way...I guess flights to DC aren't as secure as we thought), I was sweating buckets, clearly didn't belong in first class, and when I arrived at my seat, I noticed it was a window seat....right next to a very nicely dressed US Senator. I have never gotten such a severe death stare in my life. Upon arriving in DC (which is the scariest runway ever, it looks like you are going directly into the river), I was provided with a $300 taxi voucher to get me to Richmond, Virginia. I made it to my hotel by 1 am, after having to spend half of the taxi ride on the phone with the driver's daughter in order to get directions to my hotel because my taxi driver didn't know where he was going. End of story, I made it, I think my interview went well, and VCU blew my mind. I didn't think such amazing schools even existed. As an aside, if Delta had waited 3 minutes, they would have saved them approximately $700, and reduced my cortisol levels about 2 fold...this is why we Canadians love Westjet...they wait for everybody.

This past Saturday I did my interview for Calgary, I think I nailed 9/12 MMI stations, completely blew 1 (had an awkward 2 minutes of silence because you can't leave the room until the 7 minutes are up and I was totally done discussing the question), and 2 stations that I am a little unsure about. I hope it evens out...on to May 15th!

Next up on the interview schedule is Göttingen, Germany next Monday. I didn't study for the subject test, and figured my chances of getting an interview were pretty much 0 as I guessed my way through the 40 physics and chemistry questions. But apparently not...or I just failed less than the other 300 people who wrote the test. The program is paying for my travel and accommodation, which is awesome, worst case scenario is that I have a free trip to Germany :).

But here is my dilemma. The only reason I applied to the program in Germany is because I thought I had no chance of getting into any medical schools that I actually wanted to go to after not hearing from VCU, Michigan and being rejected from UBC. Now I am worried that I will get into a top choice medical school (or any at all), plus the program in Germany. I was hoping to not have to make any decisions. It will be hard to turn down a 3 year PhD program at one of the top scientific institutes in the world (and in Germany), but I also don't know how I could possibly turn down medical school. Best case scenario, I get to defer for 2 years and do an MSc in Germany and come back to a medical school spot. But, its pretty rare to get more than a 1 year deferral.

Also, my thesis is due in 18 days and I am no where near finished. I don't have time for Germany...but I can't not go...

Side note: check our Waves for Women blog, which my friend Caryn and myself will be chronicling our training and fundraising journey for our 35km open water ocean swim in July to raise money for Women's Cancer Research.

The first week of the end of my degree

I think title says it all, but this is the first week of classes of the last semester of my undergrad degree. Come June I will be happily not walking across the stage to receive my degree in Health Sciences because I will likely still be in Tanzania. (Who would want to sit in stuffy gymnasium for three hours when they could be deep in the Maasai region of Tanzania at a field camp with giraffes walking around?) Needless to say, I am pretty excited that this is the end of my first degree and that I get to finish off with a pretty awesome global health research studentship to Tanzania.

The unfortunate part is that I will be starting yet another semester with post-concussion syndrome. You may remember this post from October, well the saga continues. I still have daily headaches, yet they are mainly orthostatic (I get them when I sit up or stand up, but if I lie down they go away). This has led the concussion specialist physiatrist that I am seeing to suspect I may have a CSF leak (which is what I asked about a week after my concussion when I threw up every time I stood up and the ER doc told me it was impossible to occur unless there was a skull fracture). Soo... I have to do a radionucleotide cisternogram (say that thee times fast) in two weeks, which essentially involves a lumbar puncture, an injection of some radioactive nucleotides and me lying on a table in the angiogram suit for 6 hours. I'm not excited...and I think that if it shows I don't have a CSF leak, I likely will have one after this procedure (every time a needle goes into my epidural space I end up with a CSF leak that doesn't resolve its own). From what I am told, this the best test to check for a CSF leak, and apparently they can't do a blood patch (the procedure done to stop CSF leaks) unless there is indication of leak, which there will be no matter what after this procedure because I am 100% certain (based on past experience) that I will end up with one. Some rules and systems don't make any sense and in this case will likely cause unnecessary patient suffering. This procedure seems pointlessly expensive (to taxpayers of course, GO CANADA) and I am fairly certain I will end up needing a blood patch in the end regardless of the test outcome.

And for further updates, I got wait-listed at Wayne State SOM (which was better than I though based on the strangeness of my interview) and rejected pre-interview by UBC by 0.5 (they give you your application score and the cutoff score for interviews). The UBC thing really upset me because BC has a huge shortage of doctors in rural areas, yet they reject rural applicants at higher rates than those from urban areas (they publish these stats). It has to be recognized that opportunities to build up extracurricular activities in a small town are limited (like there are none), I made some of my own, but even that was a struggle. Anyway, if i don't get in anywhere this year, I know my GPA will be high enough to put me above the interview cutoff for next year for UBC.

On another note I spontaneously decided to apply for graduate school in Gottingen, Germany. But sadly if they like me I essentially have to repeat the a German version of the MCAT (in English thankfully) so now I have go back to studying plant ecology, physics and chemistry.

Who wouldn't want to get a MSc or PhD from here? 

Despite all of these emotional up and downs, and headaches caused by the physical ups and downs, I'm excited for what 2014 has in store. This year represents a void of the unknown and not knowing what is going to happen is always exciting. It also represents long hours in the lab trying to finish my honours thesis on time (so I can actually graduate) and the challenge of fulfilling these 10 goals. 

I hope your 2014 is filled with moments of joy but also full challenges that help you realize its okay to not be in control, and of course, many Medical Mondays (12 to be exact).

Thanks for stopping by!!

(I should also share that I get to snag link up spot 1 because I am in a different time zone,  so technically it is still Sunday here. There are some perks of living in mountain time, in addition to the mountains and -20°C weather.) 

Goals for 2014

Here we go, the cliche post that all bloggers do every year.

10 things I hope to accomplish in 2014 (in order of priority):

1. Learn more about Buddhism and start practicing more mindful living
2. Go with the flow - what ever happens after graduation will happen and it will be awesome
3. Swim across the Strait of Georgia (more on that later, its a legit thing, stay tuned for more info)
4. Spend less time on facebook
5. Complete my 4th year with a 4.0 (so far so good)
6. Focus less on what I need to do to get into med school and just enjoy being 21.
7. Dance more
8. Eat salad for dinner at least once a weak
9. Bake something at least once a month and share it with others
10. Eat less sugar

Just swimming a long in a glacier fed lake in the Canadian wilderness

21 Reasons

Today is a big day for me.

Today is the day I turn 21, and to honour this day in history, I thought I should make a list of 21 reasons why my life is awesome right now.

1. Today is my birthday, which just makes today great despite what may happen today.
2. I got a Macbook Pro for my Birthday, now I don't have to stress about having a computer that keeps crashing.
3. I have an amazing family, and they drove all the way to Calgary this past weekend just to celebrate my Birthday.
4. I have interview at Wayne State School of Medicine on Nov. 27th!
5. The global health conference that I have been planning for almost a year happens this weekend, Nov 9-11th. This is the biggest project I have ever attempted to pull off, and I am excited to help other students become passionate about global health.
6. I have some pretty amazing friends who are not only there for the ups in life, but who are also there for the downs.
7. All of my medical school applications are done!!
8. I got mounds of chocolate and food for my Birthday, so now I'm good until Christmas.
9. I've come to accept the fact I will likely never really race a bike again, and that cycling will become a pastime, rather than a lifeline, and I am okay with that.
10. I might be going to Tanzania in May!
11. I have super comfortable bed (this is actually pretty important).
12. I am completely okay with not getting to medical school this cycle. My plans for next year are actually awesome no matter what. If I don't get in, I'm going to work, and then travel to as many countries in as many continents as I can. Sounds better than dissecting cadavers right?
13. I have GF cake left over from my family Birthday party yesterday (cake makes life better no matter what).
14. I am actually doing pretty well in gross anatomy, even if it does feel a bit overwhelming sometimes.
15. I might be really behind on my research for my honours thesis, but my lab members are awesome, and I know that they will support me through it.
16. I don't have life figured out yet, and I think that is just fine, we don't always need a plan.
17. My parents brought my guitar from home. I haven't played since grade 9, but I am excited to get some more music back in my life.
18. It snowed this weekend! While winter is not as pleasant as summer, I like to appreciate all seasons for what they are and the gifts that they bring, like skiing!!!
19. I'm thankful that I decided to take the plunge and transfer from UoGuelph to uCalgary a year ago, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I don't regret going to Guelph, I don't think I would be where I am today had I not started out there. Everything works out as it should in the end.
20. I'm a strong person, I've been through more than I should have after only being on this earth for 21 years, and I appreciate everything that I have learned about life through trials and struggles. It will make me a better doctor.
21. Being able to dance like nobody is watching. We can all do this, and doing it makes life way more awesome. You should try it sometime.

Life is great, even when it sucks sometimes, it is still pretty great.

Shadowing

I had a pretty impressive morning of shadowing last Wednesday, followed by a somewhat less exciting afternoon of looking at mice in square boxes, cleaning up their excretions and testing their grip strength. But I am sure, you don't want to hear about what I do with mice...back to shadowing.

I shadowed my PI in the neuromuscular clinic, and it was needless to say a really great learning experience. I wasn't too sure how good of a teacher he would be, but he turned out to be pretty great. He explained all the cases to me, what each part of the neuro-exam looks for, the EMG results, and patient histories (some which were more complicated than mine). The first patient we saw was a younger women (early 40's) who had massive file and extensive history. I empathized with her because it seemed like she had been through a similar experience as me when I first got sick. She has seen pretty much every specialist in the city (a neuroimmunologist? I didn't even know that existed), has had extensive testing, has been "combative" towards doctors demanding tests/medications, and at one point wanted to go to the Mayo clinic. Her story seems kinda like mine (I was never combative though, but definitely frustrated). I almost wanted to just give her a hug, and I really wanted to tell her that I truly understood what she was going through, but alas, I was but a mere shadow.

The last patient we saw was a woman in her 50s who had an ethanol induced neuropathy. She doesn't take the vitamins that she needs (B1) which can reverse the neuropathy, she continues to consume alcohol, won't go to physiotherapy and doesn't have a family doctor. She had so much muscle wasting that she looked like a person with muscular dystrophy, and she can no longer straighten her legs so she is wheelchair bound. Non-compliance has committed her to a death sentence from a curable disease. Because of her, I witnessed for the first time what it is like to tell somebody that they will die, and soon, from a condition that is in fact reversible.

It is going to be interesting when I finally become a doctor, I think I am going to see myself reflected back to me in the experience of patients. In almost every patient we saw, I recognized something of my own story in the story of the patients. I empathized with the frustrations of one, the research tenacity of another, the ability of one patient to push through the pain, and realization of a grim future of another. I hope I never lose this empathy. At the same time though, I would give anything for my condition to just disappear by taking some vitamins, most people would, so I don't know how I am going to react when I encounter non-compliant patients. I see non-compliance as selfish, and I feel it makes the role of a doctor almost meaningless.


Needless to say, shadowing was an enlightening experience, which motivated me to submit my AMCAS application on Friday (even though I am still waiting for one transcript to arrive at AMCAS). I also started my application for UBC and the rest of the Canadian applications open up in a couple of weeks. The ball is rolling, and I have started to have nightmares since I submitted my AMCAS application. Looks like it is going to be a long wait until May 15, 2014....


PS Happy Canada Day!!!

Para-Cycling?

When I showed up for training at 8:30 am this morning, there were more people around than usual. Then in passing by, I saw my coach who told me the national team para-cycling coaches were running a mini-camp. I knew they were coming sometime in March, but I didn't know when.

The head coach at the cycling centre, SB, is also the para-cycling coach and he coaches a few of the HP para-Olympians. We have chatted a bit about my situation before, and we couldn't come to the conclusion if I was classifiable or not, and he wanted me to meet with the coaches when they came down (ie today). SB had a family emergency to attend to, and because he was gone I thought my chance of meeting with the para coaches was gone. I guess today was my lucky day!

The development coach ran through a few things with me, like the heel to toe walking tests, running your foot down your shin...you know, all of those neuro tests. I did them before and after riding. He said that riding or exercise brings more symptoms out in people, and if that happens, they have a good case for classifying. It happened to me. So, it looks like I might have a chance at classifying either C4 or C5 (hopefully not C5 because most people in that category have only upper are impairments which really has no affect on your ability to put power into the pedals).

The next step is to do some testing with a physiotherapist immediately after a hard workout. Maybe, just maybe, I will classify.

Global Health

Welcome to my Medical Mondays Post!

I'm pretty exhausted today after spending my entire day at the Children's Hospital and then going to class...I don't understand how doctors actually make through the day. I guess now is as good a time as any to start improving my stamina and work on looking enthusiastic about everything and my all day happy face.

Anyway, in two weeks time, I will be heading over to Montreal to attend MonWHO, a World Health Organization Simulation conference. I went last year with my previous university, and this year I obtained funding for myself and 5 other students from Calgary to fly out to Montreal to spend 3 days debating, learning and sometimes fighting about global health issues. The theme of this year's conference is "Corruption in Health Care Systems," and I am the Transparency International delegate, which should prove to be a very interesting and involved role. I am also pretty excited about being able to see some of my friends from Guelph who are going and whom I haven't seen in almost year.

The main reason that I was actually able to get funding to go, is because next fall, we will be hosting the first conference of its kind in Western Canada. We are calling it CalWHO, which coincidentally sounds like "Yahoo" which is actually the traditional Calgary Stampede exclamatory phrase (it is not "yehaw" like everybody thinks). Myself and my friend U are the co-Executive Directors, founders and first ever presidents of CalWHO. Before Christmas we had an application process to select 4 more students to form our core secretariat responsible for putting on CalWHO next fall. So while we are headed to Montreal to attend the conference (and eat awesome food, potentially go shopping and maybe hit up one of Montreal's famous night clubs), we are mostly there to learn everything about the conference so that we can recreate it here in Calgary.

This is a massive under taking, as it will be the first student led conference in my faculty and one of two in the entire university (the other is hosted by the faculty of education students, most of whom already have at least 1 degree). I am a bit scared....but at this moment,  I am just really excited to go to Montreal and spend a weekend trying to solve problems that affect the health of people world wide.

Also, happy March from Calgary! I love Canadian weather! (Said no one ever.)

The First Cut

Today I preformed my first surgery, I made my first cut through skin, isolated my first structure and sutured my first wound. It was amazing, and I thought my hands would begin to shake, or that I would falter or feel faint, but I didn't. Probably because this surgery was on a rat, but on Monday when I watched the demo of the surgery, I felt pretty sick. But there is definitely a big difference between watching somebody cut the skin and actually putting the scalpel blade through the skin your self. Even though his heart was beating and he was breathing (and anesthetized), it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be when I made that first cut. 

I completed my animal surgery certificate course today, I assisted my partner with a surgery on Monday, we did post-op together on Tuesday and today was my time to be in the spot light. All I had to do was isolate the jugular vein, which really wasn't that difficult. And those veins are surprisingly stretchy and resilient. The hard part was the suturing, doing the inner layer of tissue was just fine as it was a discontinuous stitch, but doing a continuous buried stitch on the outer layer of skin was really tricky. I kinda suck at it...but it was my first attempt at ever stitching anything ever!!! I'm pretty stoked on life right now though, mostly because I didn't know if  could ever handle doing surgery. I like it, I'm not good at it right now, but I like it.

After my rat was euthanized (I'm not totally okay with shoving a needle full of anesthetic into a rat's heart yet...) I got to isolate the sciatic nerve. Honestly, it was the first nerve that I have ever really seen. Maybe on day I will get to repair one.

I'm pumped to keep studying, get on with my research project (mice officially ordered) and become a doctor! Surgery might still be in my cards, but I need to practice suturing, so, I bought this:

My first suture kit

 The only problem is that I only have 2 packs of sutures, one for fascia and one for skin. So if you know anywhere I can buy sutures, let me know!!

We Day Alberta 2012

Yesterday was a pretty amazing, fun, inspiring and exhausting day, and I didn't even skip a class. You might be wondering what I was doing on a school day that was so totally awesome...so I will just tell you.

Yesterday, Oct.24/12 was the first ever We Day Alberta!! What is why day you ask? We Day is a huge event put on for youth across Canada and is Me to We's signature event. Me to We is a branch of Free the Children, which is a non-profit organization started in Canada when Craig Keilburger was just 12 years old. It has grown into this massive organization with the motto of "kids helping kids." Its all about bringing food security, education, clean water and health care to children across the world, with a large portion of its funds being raised and donated by youth across Canada. We Day is all about the youth of the world, and inspiring them to "Be the change." You can't buy a ticket to We Day, you have to earn it through service.

Because I am no longer a youth, I couldn't attend We Day. So, instead, I decided to  volunteer, and even better, I signed up to be a Crowd Pumper. On Saturday we had our first training session where we learned the We Day Dance, and our flash mob routine. During our 4 hour Saturday session, we were unknowingly showing the head Crowd Pumpers April and Gabby that we could strut our stuff. So when we had our final training session on Tuesday night, I found out that I had been selected to be on the FLOOR!!!!! Apparently I have dance skills (lolz), but I think it was more like I had a lot of energy and that I dance like nobody is watching me. Non the less, I was given a floor section to pump up right in the first section in front of the stage!!! My job was to make sure everybody was up and dancing, having a good time and getting them to break out of their shell. So basically I had an all day dance party.

It was exhausting with all the cheering and dancing, but also crazy fun and inspiring. Seeing 18,000 youth come together to celebrate each other and be inspired to change the world was simply breath taking. Not to mention seeing Hedley, Shawn Desmen, Lights, Marianis Trench rock it on stage, all the while being inspired by Martin Sheen, Larry King (yes, that is right, the King himself), Marc and Craig Keilburger (Founders of Me to We and Free the Children), Liz Murray (homeless to Harvard) and SPENCER WEST! I even got to high five Marc Keilburger. The day was actually too awesome to really describe, and I am so thankful that I got to be a part of it.

Me to We has just recently added a new volunteer trip to Ghana, and when I saw the video and listened to the talk about I started to cry. I miss Ghana so much, and I think about going back at least six times a day. My mom is lucky enough to be leading a group of high school students there this spring (and gets to go for free!) with EF Tours and Me to We. I am super jealous.

Being a crowd pumper and having chronic pain was a bit of a challenge, every time I jumped and landed it was horrible, but there was so much energy in the room that it didn't even matter. I had a job to do, GET THE CROWD PUMPED UP! So I did it with every ounce of enthusiasm that I had, I even managed to have enough energy left over for class...and by that I mean I only fell a sleep for a few seconds during pharmacology....

Stoked to be part of We Day next year, and maybe sometime in the future figure out a way to get myself back to Ghana.

Floor Crowd Pumper Crew, Power of We

My New Besty Amanda

Much Music Booth with some fellow Crowd Pumpers (I'm the one wearing the tie)