Don't be haten'

I have always wondered what hate really is. Is the best definition the hate the Nazi had for the Jewish people? What about the feelings between the French and the English, or  Northern USA and Southern USA during the American civil war? What about your feelings towards that guy who just smudged your brand new bike with his greasy fingers? What is hate? Why do people hate?

It seems to me, that in every instance I just listed, a group of people hates another group because they are jealous. (The bike part is an exception to that hypothesis, I just am really protective over my bikes.) Nazis were jealous of the Jewish people because the Jewish people in general worked harder, believed in education and therefore, made more money. Money seems to bring out the worst in people. So is it money that we really hate or should hate? What would happen if we destroyed every piece of money in the world, would people stop hating each other?

I think hate is just another way of projecting ones emotions about feeling inadequate, onto somebody who appears better than you are.

 

I'm Walking on Sunshine...yeahaa

As you could probably assume form the title, I am mobile! I am not referring to a cell phone, laptop, or car, but my own two feet. (Well, really  it was only one foot that made it so I couldn't walk. Have you ever tried to walk with one foot? If you haven't, you should try it, and it would also be a good idea to do so while wrapped in bubble rap with a safety approved helmet on.)

My room had become horribly disorder while I was on crutches because it is just so very difficult to do everything. Today I cleaned! Today I walked up and down stairs like an almost normal person. I went to physio, it hurt like a banshee, I almost cried, and then walked down a set of stairs. These seemingly insignificant accomplishments are seemingly massively significant to me.

Have you ever experienced walking? I don't just mean one foot in front of the other to get to the fridge, I mean really walking. Feeling the carpet for the first time in four weeks, taking a step, and then another and then another and feel like you are floating on a cloud? Okay, that kind of sounds like I am stoned, which is partly true, (its all prescription I swear), maybe someday you will feel the pure ecstasy of walking, and no I am not suggesting you go out and get high in order to experience this.

I'm walking on sunshine.    

A nice trip

Last Monday, I went on a really nice trip. Not to Mexico, or a fantastic bike trip, but the kind where the floor seems to come at your face far to rapidly.

I was sitting on the couch with my foot up, and then my mom called me for dinner. Apparently dinner seemed really exciting because in my rush to get up stairs, I tripped on the coffee table and landed on my post surgery foot.

I still can't put weight on it. I hope I didn't do something inside where the surgery was...

Ode to a Neuroma

You know how you have a days when everything just seems to be perfect? Well, Tuesday was one of them. You may think it strange that it was probably the best day that I have had in about 6 months, seeing that it was also the day that I had surgery. On Tuesday, I went into the hospital at 7:00 in the morning and walked out at 11:30, well, I had to be wheeled out actually.

I'm not usually the type of person to sit here and type out the events of my day, but this one was just so perfect that I have to share it.

I have been in operating room at the Royal Jubilee hospital 3 times this year, and the first two I had horrible, cranky nurses who wouldn't believe that I have horrible veins. So usually, I am tortured until they can manage to get the IV in, which is anywhere from 5-13 attempts. On Tuesday, they let the Anesthetist do, and he did it one try. I also had a really nice nurse who let my mom come in to the pre-op area to wait with me and talk to the doctors before the surgery. Normally, "there is no way in hell that your parent can come past this door, we simply just don't allow it." Tuesday seemed to be the exception, because she also let me keep my book and my contacts in until I had to go.

I had a really funny scrub nurse and he was a guy. (Most nurses are women, so it was kinda cool.) And he was really nice, even held my hand when the doc put the IV in, and then again when they were sticking a giant needle in the back of my leg to freeze the lower portion of my leg. Nice guy.

I don't do well with anesthetic, and when I wake up I have an asthma attack and throw up for a good hour. I didn't this time, and I was outta the hospital with in an hour of waking up! The surgeon also told my mom that I had a "classic neuroma" and that he was sorry I had to suffer that long. Take that Dr. Selby! Who said "it will just get better in time." It would of gotten worse.

The good news doesn't end here. The 13th, which was Tuesday was also the day that the new Newsboy's CD came out, and I really wanted it. When we were leaving to catch the 2:00 ferry, my mom said we either went to get the CD or made the ferry. She knew I really wanted the CD, so she said "screw it, lets get the CD." The Newsboys are a christian band, and while I was waiting in the car with my leg propped up on a pillow and groggy from the anesthetic, my mom went into the store to get the CD, but forgot to put any windows down. I thought I was going to roast, then all of the sudden the rear window at the very back of our truck went down. When my mom came back with the CD I asked "did you put the back window down?" She hadn't, but I guess God did. Strange how that happened while sitting in front a christian store.

Oh, and we still made the 2:00 ferry, and only by 3 cars.

God was with me. I have never felt his presence so strong before.

Peace like a river,

KP

Take Luck

Everything got better today. I woke up at 8:00 and I wasn't in pain. For twenty minutes I lay awake without pain this morning. It was a weird feeling, I almost don't remember what it is like not to be in pain, it was like I was missing something. Not that I like being in pain, I have just gotten used to it, and it has been apart of every waking moment for a long time.

Today must haven been a lucky day for me, because I just got a better job that pays $23/hr instead of 8.50, it is in Sparwood instead of Fernie, I get more hours, and all I have to do is be a cashier!

Today I took luck, and today it was good. For twenty minutes I experienced my old life.

The clutch

Today was my first day of work, like ever. Honestly, it was kind of boring, but I kind of like answering the phones even if I hate them. Maybe this job will crush my fear of phones and calling people that I have never met before. Basically, I am a switch board operator with out the actual switch board. I do get a free mountain bike pass though, so I am going to go ride tomorrow after work for a couple of hours, but I think I might stick to the blue trails because I am a bit a newb, or more correctly, I  am a Gorby.

I also had to learn how to drive a standard this week because I only work weekends and my parents take the truck to go up to the our cabin or the 'woods' as I a like to call it. I think that calculus is easier and less frustrating than learning to drive a standard. The actual driving part is easy, its the starting out that is hard. I basically despise stop lights and stop signs because 3/4 times I stall. Stalling does not only get me flustered, but it is also really embarrassing.

I hate that car.

Chaching!

I got a job! Its only like 12 hours a week, but I get a free MTB pass, so I'll take it!